Is It Normal that My Children Fight All the Time?
Fights between young siblings are usually a normal situation in many families. The causes are very varied: envy, jealousy, possession of toys... Mediating these situations is an important role for parents.
In matters of parenting and education, sharing experiences with other caregivers is essential so that we don’t despair. Phrases like, “I’m worried because my children fight all the time” are said much more frequently than parents imagine.
In this article, we’ll look at some tips to avoid fights between young siblings.
When they’re small, children’s egocentrism makes it difficult for them to share spaces, affection and toys. Currently, parenting models advise respecting children’s development and processes.
Play, fight, play…
The fact that siblings fight is normal, but always within certain parameters. In most cases, games lead to fights. Normally, when the discussion ends, the children play again without grudges. Positive resolution is always desirable.
However, permanent aggression should cause you to consult with specialists. If one sibling unjustifiably and repeatedly mistreats the other(s), a problem going beyond sibling rivalry may exist.
Autistic spectrum disorder (ASD), for example, could provoke excessive reaction in children toward the people around them.
In any case, parents dedicated to providing quality care to their children can also, with therapeutic help, assist their children with ASD to socialize with their siblings.
Is it normal that my children fight all the time?
Reconciliation normally occurs after a fight. However, sometimes the parents themselves hinder the development of a good relationship between their children by intervening too often.
The parents’ doubts are understandable: when should they set limits? How do they stop a fight? What should they do if a child doesn’t manage to calm down with his or her siblings?
Fights between siblings can go through different stages. First it’s a toy, then a bicycle, then a gaming console or a rivalry in a group of friends. Some children can have more conflicts than others.
In these situations, labeling is one of the most frequent mistakes among parents who go to a therapeutic session asking if it’s normal for their children to fight all the time.
Some people make the serious mistake of considering one of their children “bad” and constantly blaming them for fights. For a child, being considered inherently evil can be devastating.
Thus, it’s essential to talk with your children to put a stop to the situation. Try to parent based on awareness and respect.
Reasons for fights and how to mediate
It’s important to identify why your children are fighting and not to minimize the complaints of each child.
In addition, children’s apparent reasons for fighting often hide fears or insecurities that they cannot yet express. Therefore, parents must observe and listen first of all to detect the patterns of each fight.
Wondering what makes your children fight all the time without being aware of the causes makes an adequate intervention impossible. In the mind of little ones, protecting their toys from being damaged is understandable and desirable.
As parents, you must also take care to nurture the bond you have with your children while mediating fights. Find a solution in a comprehensive and empathetic way. Make sure the adults in the home model good behavior by talking things out and treating each other with respect.
If parents are too absent, either due to lack of time or other issues, children may find a way to express loneliness via fights. They need quality time for themselves and with their siblings.
In conclusion, remember that adults must set a great example of dialogue and understanding. Not only must you teach your children to share, but also to listen, to remain calm, and to forgive those you love.