Help! My Daughter's Getting Married!
Finding out that your daughter's getting married can be quite traumatic. We want to be in control, but we also have to let go. Find out more here...
Wedding bells are starting to ring – your daughter’s getting married! But don’t panic, this situation can be faced with joy and enthusiasm.
When parents receive the news that their daughter’s getting married, it brings with it a whole series of emotions. It’s a beautiful situation, but it takes some digesting at the same time. It’s quite normal for all sorts of concerns and expectations to fill our minds when we hear the news.
Hundreds of memories pass through our minds at full speed. All these images of times spent together touch us and move us deeply. We start to feel a mix of satisfaction, excitement, nerves and also sadness… Our daughter’s getting married! How did time fly by so fast?
Changes in the family nucleus, even if we know they’re for the best, can unsettle us at first. This is something that’s inevitable and quite normal. However, we can handle it with joy and enthusiasm if we focus on:
- How happy and proud our daughter is
- The new members that we’re going to welcome into our family.
- Being happy to see how the family has grown and how nice it is to have the opportunity to socialize with others.
My daughter’s getting married, what should I do?
From now on, your daughter will realize the importance of all those values you cultivated in her ever since she was very young.
She’ll start to understand the road that you’ve traveled along. A road which had many ups and downs, but which was always filled with amazing affection and understanding.
An upcoming wedding is an opportunity to learn (or relearn) about unconditional love and the value of truthful words. In these circumstances everyone learns, and that’s a reason for celebration. Why? Because it allows everyone to share their points of view, guided by optimism and wisdom.
The most important thing of all is that parents should transmit security and self-confidence to their children, so that they can start this new stage of their life on the right foot.
Advice for the mother when her daughter’s getting married
Knowing that your daughter’s getting married can bring a mix of joy and bittersweet nostalgia. The fact that your daughter is focusing on her partner, and on all the wedding plans, doesn’t mean that she won’t need your advice.
Don’t worry. There are sure to be opportunities to give your advice on married life. Here are some things you should keep in mind:
- Always respect the couple’s decisions
- Be willing to stay in the background when your daughter and her husband make decisions. This can be quite stressful, as up to this point you’ve always been your daughter’s first point of reference.
- As they grow up, we must accept the fact that our children have their own free will. Even though they can always count on us to guide them, they are now responsible for moving forward on their own.
With the wedding date coming ever closer, you will, quite naturally, feel the urge to organize certain matters for her, and that isn’t right.
You must arm yourself with patience and, even if you don’t like the decisions they take, you must respect them.
Remember that it’s a healthy thing to let people make mistakes in order for them to learn from them. We can’t always prevent the “bad” things in life, or remove them from their lives, to try to save them from suffering.
Grow in patience
It’s quite normal for your daughter to have doubts and questions about different aspects of the wedding. However, you don’t have to control everything or claim to know the solution to each of their questions or difficulties.
Let your daughter acquire experience as she faces these different situations. She’s bound to make mistakes, but you mustn’t, under any circumstances, occupy the place that her future husband will have, and already has, due to the commitment they’ve made to each other.
When you allow the new couple to have their own space in order for them to talk and make decisions, then you’ll help to create a relaxed atmosphere between the two families.
Little by little, you’ll see how your daughter will ask you for advice regarding certain issues that she’s not too clear about.
Being wise means that you’ll know how much to say, how to say it, to whom and also when to say it. A simple and timely comment on a specific issue may be very useful at the right moment.
Whatever you do, don’t make comments on matters that your daughter hasn’t asked for your opinion on.
Allow all the family to take part
On hearing that your daughter’s getting married, it’s quite normal for you to want to get involved in almost every aspect of the wedding plans.
As the day of the wedding approaches, the future bride and groom may ask you to give your advice in some way. This may be with the dress, the reception, the wedding party, and any other matters that they may bring up.
Don’t forget to involve all the members of the family, to a greater or lesser degree.
Seeing that both parents support each other in their own marriages is an incentive and a good example for the happy couple. The active participation of family members will help to create a happier atmosphere, while, at the same time strengthening emotional ties.
After all, marriage is a very important step in anyone’s life. Our mission from now on will be to respect their decisions and space, and to be happy for them.