Keep Calm, Don't Join the Chaos
Every parent is challenged when confronted will their children’s tantrums. We all know those moments that are full of frustration and desperation. It’s important to keep calm when situations like these arise.
We need to distance ourselves from the chaos that our children sometimes cause. The key to success lies in fine-tuning your patience, having peace of mind and trying to comfort your child.
Communication plays the most important role in these situations. Converse with them in a soft and calm voice.
Try to stay at the child’s level so you can look at them in the eyes. Establishing visual contact is very important when it comes to resolving these crises.
Now, are these tips enough to take control of your little one when they’re having a tantrum? How can you act in a balanced way to avoid resorting to shouts, insults or inappropriate punishments?
Today in YouAreMom we’ll share with you the best ways to deal with your little one’s tantrums.
Tantrums: the little one’s big emotions
These tantrums are just one of the many ways that children express how they feel. They don’t have any other appropriate way to express their feelings and emotions.
When tantrums occur, parents have to play a fundamental role. A parent’s job is to act positively, assertively and empathetically.
Parents should try to understand how the child feels and decipher the reason that provoked such a huge reaction.
As a parent, don’t judge, label, punish or lose your temper. You should act as a role model. Above all, it’s important to educate your child about emotional intelligence.
The little one should be provided with the tools to start developing their communication skills.
This is imperative because it’s the only way to forge a better future for the child. It will also ensure positive physical and emotional development and guarantee a happy childhood and adulthood.
Emotional intelligence begins to develop in the first years of life. Every exchange that a child has with their parents, teachers and friends carry emotional messages.
Assertiveness and empathy, the keys to avoiding these crises
Empathy is the first thing we need, in addition to the aspects we mentioned previously, in order to take control of our children’s tantrums.
Try to put yourself in their shoes. Keep calm and connect with your child in order to participate in the formation of their feelings.
Understand how they feel and why they feel upset. Project calmness. Ask them how they feel. Explain the correct way that they should express themselves.
Above all, clarify the issue that is bothering them so much. If it’s possible, try to give them options.
This is where assertiveness comes in. We have to teach our children how we want them to behave and the consequences of unwanted behavior. This has to be done calmly. Patience is important when you have to talk to them.
If you act with assertiveness and empathy, you’ll be able to provide them with the tools to express themselves in a kind, frank, open, direct and appropriate way.
They have to be balanced in order to express how they feel. After some training you’ll achieve your goal. Your child will be able to express what they want without creating unnecessary conflict.
In their shoes
When your little one is having a tantrum, a great way to help them is to put yourself in their shoes. This requires a bit of effort from your memory. Remember when you were a child. Remember how you felt, thought and acted.
Go back in time, be calm, give the child a deep look, no longer as an adult, but from a child’s point of view. Remember that no matter the intensity of their tantrums they are still children. That’s how we acted when we were young.
Come back to the present, to the here and now. You’ve come a long way and your parents gave you the tools to manage your emotions and to express yourself appropriately.
Although it’s logical that their tantrums bother you, just put yourself in their shoes and you’ll see it from a new perspective.
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
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- Goleman, D. (2010). La práctica de la inteligencia emocional. Editorial Kairós.
- López, M. (2008). La integración de las habilidades sociales en la escuela como estrategia para la salud emocional. Psicología sin fronteras: revista electrónica de intervención psicosocial y psicología comunitaria, 3(1), 16-19.
- Shapiro, L. E. (2002). La salud emocional de los niños (Vol. 16). Edaf.
- Ekman, P. E., & Davidson, R. J. (1994). The nature of emotion: Fundamental questions. Oxford University Press.
- Ekman, P. (1992). Are there basic emotions? https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037/0033-295X.99.3.550
- Ekman, P. (1999). Basic emotions. Handbook of cognition and emotion, 98(45-60), 16.