I Am Proud Of My Child, And Always Will Be

I Am Proud Of My Child, And Always Will Be
Valeria Sabater

Written and verified by the psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Last update: 08 November, 2022

You are a mother who is proud of her child. He or she is part of you and you love everything they do and every step they take. You are proud of yourself, too, for having discovered how strong you are, and for turning your every weakness into a strength.

It is often said that a child changes our lives completely. But more than a transformation, the arrival of a baby is a test. It forces you, as a mother or father, to always give the best of yourself. For this reason, being proud of your child also means being happy with yourself, and knowing that you are doing your best.

Now, there is one thing that we have to keep in mind. It is vital to let your son or daughter see that you really are proud of them, just for being who they are – just for being your child.

We sometimes make the mistake of only praising our children when we approve of their behavior. When they do what we ask or they make their bed; if they say good morning or get good grades.

All of these things are positive, without a doubt. However, every child needs to feel that they are loved at all times, not just when they are “good.” Your child doesn’t need to get ten out of ten in math for you to feel proud of them. It’s enough to see them smile, to hug them, and to see them playing happily.

I am proud of my child every day, and they know it

You, as a mother, a father and other members of the family, make up the first social circle that your child will encounter. For small children, there is nothing more. It is in this environment that they will have their first experiences, which will shape how they come to perceive themselves.

  • If they feel secure, and understand that we are proud of them just as they are, this will feed their self esteem. On the other hand, if children do not see this in their day-to-day lives, they will start to feel insecure.
  • We would be wrong to base our childrearing techniques on the simple behaviorism of punishment and reward. This creates children who are motivated solely by external reinforcement, who become easily frustrated when they do not receive rewards.
  • Above all, we must send our children out into the world feeling secure in themselves. So they become individuals who don’t need external reinforcement to know whether something is right or wrong.
  • We can only do this by raising our children with respect and emotional intelligence.

Respectful childrearing: trust your instincts

An approach to childrearing that first appeared in the 1960s is currently coming back into favor. This tells us that every parent is somehow equipped with an inborn instinct that allows them to know what their children need.

  • This goes beyond the classic idea of a “maternal instinct.” This is about respectful childrearing, which lets things happen in their own time. It is not necessary to hurry each stage, only to love your child just as they are.
  • Respectful childrearing is something we need to talk about, given how common it is to see parents who are anxious to have ever smarter, more capable children. Children who are able to read and to multiply by the age of 5.
  • If these abilities don’t come at the expected time, some parents feel let down. They are no longer proud of their children. This will not do. Children see this frustration, and they internalize it as a failure. They feel rejected because they are not what their mother and father hoped for.

We need to trust in our instincts, and in our hearts. Not in the structures defined by society for the most able, the smartest, the most beautiful and confident. Our children are already perfect, just because they are who they are. Just because they are ours. Just because they exist.

young blonde girl with blue eyes

I will always be proud of you

We know that the phrase “I will always be proud of you” comes with small print attached. We are aware that, at some point, our children will probably do something wrong.

Think about this one thing, however: your children will never need you more than when they are wrong or lost. They will need you to show them the right way forward. They will need you to give them strength, and to let them know that, whatever happens, you will always love them.

This is what will give them the strength and integrity to move on.

  • You don’t need to have given birth to a child to love them as your own. Your child doesn’t need to be the best in their class, or the tallest or prettiest, for you to feel proud of them. They don’t need to fulfill all the expectations that you had in mind for their future.
  • Let them be themselves. Let them be right or wrong, and let them live however they want. Most of all, let them know that you will always be there for them, whatever happens.
  • And remember, never wait for a special moment to come in order to say “I’m proud of you.” Tell them so all the time. When you say good night. When they give you a smile; when they fall over but get back up again…
silhouette of pregnant woman with the moon in her belly

This is what you can do to make sure that your child grows up happy, knowing that they are loved and can be the person they want to be.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.