What Should I Do If I Don't Like My Son's New Partner?

You've known your son's friends and his social group. You know who his classmates are and many other aspects. But when love comes into his life, it's possible that you may not like his choice. How should you proceed?
What Should I Do If I Don't Like My Son's New Partner?

Last update: 19 January, 2019

All of us who have a son know what it means to wish the best for someone with all your soul. For this reason, when it comes time to meet your son’s new partner, you may feel distrust and concern.

How should I act if I do not like my son’s new partner?

Does your son want to introduce you to his new partner, and the day has finally come for you to meet her? This situation might awaken a sense of overprotection and a fear of losing your son. This is understandable, because you’ve always tried to offer him a healthy, safe and happy life.

However, there comes a time when we must accept that our children have grown up. They’ll make their own decisions and prepare to establish a family of their own.

Their choice of partner represents one of the crucial choices our children will make. Therefore, they need our support.

But many fathers and mothers wonder, “What do I do if I don’t like my son’s new partner?” You may not agree with the choices your son makes, but respect and love must always prevail.

Give her the opportunity to show her own personality

When the day comes for you to meet her for the first time, your son’s new partner will feel very nervous and anxious. By wanting to convey a good impression, she may seem unnatural, act strange and even make basic mistakes. 

However, we need to understand how difficult this moment is for her too. If your son’s new partner seems nervous, it’s because she recognizes the importance of meeting and pleasing you. This shows she values the family’s opinion, especially her partner’s parents.

What Should I Do If I Don't Like My Son's New Partner?

We’ll never get to know anyone in a day, much less in a few hours. Therefore, remember to give her the opportunity to show her personality in a positive environment where she doesn’t feel pressured to create a perfect image.

Prejudices are the worst enemies of healthy relationships

Assuming one’s own prejudices is part of growing up and being honest with ourselves and with everyone around us. If we can never recognize them, we can’t overcome them. We also can’t open our minds to new experiences and people.

When meeting your son’s new partner, remember not to let yourself be carried away by your prejudices regarding her image.

Maybe this person doesn’t look impeccable because she’s had a long day at work. Or maybe she simply acts strangely because she feels nervous to meet you.

On the other hand, we must respect the preferences and capacity of everyone in relation to their clothes, accessories and belongings.

Some people don’t have enough money to wear fine or sophisticated garments. Others, meanwhile, prefer to dress simply because of their lifestyle, beliefs or way of being.

None of these cases gives us the right to presume that we know the person’s personality by their way of speaking, dressing or acting. Before judging by appearance or preferences, it’s better to take the time to get to know the person your child has chosen.

Their choice of partner is one of the crucial choices our children will make. Therefore, they’ll need our support.”

Learning to understand young people

Generational differences usually hinder the way parents interact with their adolescent children. Young people today have their own language, and technology represents an integral part of their way of being.

Therefore, it’s advisable to avoid prejudices and to invest in communication instead. With the help of social networks, it’s easier to understand the language and minds of adolescents a little better. This will help you improve your relationship with your child and strengthen a bond of trust.

What Should I Do If I Don't Like My Son's New Partner?

In addition, that bond will serve you well when it’s time to meet your son’s new partner.

Allow your son to live his own experiences

As parents, we want our children to feel happy. Love is part of a happy life. Maybe your son won’t stay with his current partner for life, but he can feel very happy during the time that he maintains this relationship.

If one day your son tells you that he’s separating form his partner, remember that he’ll need your love and affection to overcome this difficult moment. At the beginning and the end of these stages, communication is key.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.