6 Phrases to Help Calm an Angry Child

Children, just like adults, have bad days. Sometimes they get angry, kick, and scream. Rather than shouting or getting frustrated yourself, we want to suggest these 6 phrases to help calm an angry child.
6 Phrases to Help Calm an Angry Child

Last update: 28 June, 2021

As parents, we often have to deal with our children’s temper tantrums. They’re still young and don’t know how to manage their anger appropriately. In fact, they’re developmentally unable to do so.  Therefore, they need our help. With that in mind, we want to suggest 6 phrases to help calm an angry child.

Often, we ourselves aren’t sure how to respond, and we end up getting flustered and shouting at and punishing our little ones. But, when we react this way, we only make things worse rather than solving the problem.

In this sense, there are ways to actually help calm an angry child. Do you want us to help your children manage their anger? Keep reading.

6 phrases to help calm an angry child

Words are very powerful – they can heal, and they can harm. They can do wonders and, depending on the tone we use, we can help calm the situation. Communication is of the utmost importance.

1. “Let’s both calm down, okay?”

Without a doubt, on more than one occasion, your child has had a major temper tantrum. These situations are hard enough as it is, but when they happen in front of other people, the tension multiplies because of the pressure we feel from having so many eyes on us. Unfortunately, we usually end up shouting, grabbing our kids, and trying to get away from onlookers as quickly as possible.

6 Phrases to Help Calm an Angry Child

In these times, what our children need most isn’t our exasperation, but rather our comprehension. So, get some air, take a breath, and say I’m angry too, so let’s both calm down, okay?” That way, your child will feel understood and know that you’re there to help.

2. “I get angry, too, and this is how I express my anger

When you say this phrase to children, it shows that you empathize with them. It’s okay for kids to get angry, and they need to let off steam just like adults do. Don’t tell children they’re acting like babies… Rather, help them find better ways to express their discontent.

Help them understand that it’s perfectly normal to be angry and that you get angry sometimes, too. Offer suggestions on how they can deal with their feelings of frustration in more productive ways. For example, taking deep breaths, drawing a picture… whatever you can think of.

3. “Let’s find a solution together to make things work

On many occasions, children feel angry because they’re frustrated. They’re trying to do something and it’s not working out the way they want. Unfortunately, our first instinct may be to say things like “you’re not trying hard enough” or “don’t cry, just try again.” But that doesn’t help them deal with the anger they’re feeling. In fact, you may just end up making things worse.

In these moments, your child needs words of encouragement, motivation, and confidence. If you get involved and offer your help and understanding, his or her feelings of anger will dissipate.

More phrases to calm an angry child

4. “If you talk to me calmly instead of shouting, I’ll be able to understand you better”

When your child is angry and screams at you, it’s easy to lose your cool… but you’ve got to keep that from happening. Try to help your children understand that, when they scream, you have a hard time understanding them. It’s important that they settle down and talk to you in a calm voice.

5. “You’re really angry aren’t you? How about I give you one of my super hugs that make everything better?”

Children, on occasion, just like adults, have bad days and get angry over every little thing. When that happens, children may not even be aware of why they’re feeling so irritated.

6 Phrases to Help Calm an Angry Child

But no matter why they’re feeling and acting this way, what they’re asking for is our understanding and affection. So, one solution you can offer is to give them one of your super, cure-all hugs.

6. “Why are you throwing your toys? Don’t you like them anymore? Are you angry with them?”

When angry, many children end up grabbing and throwing whatever they find nearby – usually toys. In those moments, you may feel very angry and want to raise your voice – but try not to.

You’re child’s upset and may not even know why. So, he or she needs someone to put what’s going on into words. That way, they can realize that what they’re doing is inappropriate. So, the above phrase will show children that their toys haven’t done anything wrong and aren’t to blame for their anger. And, of course, it will teach them that it’s not okay to throw toys.

Conclusion on phrases to calm an angry child

The above phrases can be a very useful means to avoiding confrontations with our little ones. Yelling, making threats, and becoming violent won’t help at all. Actually, all of that will only make things worse. Rather, love, affection, empathy, and respect will be your best allies. You can help your children learn to calm down and channel their anger in healthy ways.


This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.