What to Do When Your Children Respond Poorly?

When your children respond poorly, the most important thing is to maintain your composure and not react back with rude and unkind terms.
What to Do When Your Children Respond Poorly?

Last update: 03 November, 2021

Perhaps one of the things that can upset parents the most is when children respond in an aggressive or rude way when we make a comment or request. The moment your children respond poorly, follow the steps we’ll share in the following article.

Remember that the most important thing isn’t to respond with the same attitude to the provocations that are given during an argument. You’re the adult and you should avoid being tempted to allow yourself to fall into a meaningless fight on bad terms.

What to do when your children respond poorly?

Keep your composure

When a situation of this type arises, the least advisable thing is to react in an adverse way. The way you respond can weaken or strengthen your relationship with your children, so you must be very careful.

If your reaction is too soft, your children may repeat that inappropriate behavior. And if it’s too strict, they will feel that they can’t express themselves.

Avoid yelling when your children respond poorly

Avoid shouting and words when you’re not calm. Take a deep breath and think carefully about what you’re going to say. Hold off the conversation until you find a time when both parties are calm and can come to a sensible agreement.

Identify what the causes are that produce this type of situation

Just because your children respond poorly doesn’t always mean they have problems with you.

Worry about discovering if there’s an external condition, either at school or in their social circle that’s upsetting them. If so, don’t respond with aggression. Go to the cause of the problem and try to help solve it.

Keep the rules clear about behaviors that aren’t acceptable

When you establish your family rules in the company of your children, it’s necessary to clarify as specifically as possible what’s expected of children towards parents and other members of their family. Having clear boundaries will help your children think twice before speaking to you in a disrespectful way.

A teenage girl ignoring her parents.

Remember that you must control the audiovisual content to which they have access. Many disrespectful behaviors are the result of the repetition of behaviors that they see in their favorite programs or in videos on the Internet.

Be careful about what your children see and hear both on television and in the real world, not only as a family but in their immediate social environment at school.

Other tips to apply when your children respond poorly

Remind them that every action has its consequences

After you have determined which are the tones of voice or the words that aren’t acceptable between parents and children, clarify that if they exceed these limits, there will be consequences that they must assume.

To do this, one option is to take away certain privileges, such as playtime and entertainment activities, or to assign them additional household chores, or another method that you’ve agreed upon.

A woman talking on the phone and working on her laptop while her children fight in the background.

Do not improvise when it comes to punishing inappropriate behavior because the problem can get worse. Remember that if you establish rules from the beginning, coexistence will be healthier for everyone.

Act the way you expect your child to act

If the arguments with your partner end in insults and aggressive tones, it’s natural to see that your children respond poorly. Treat everyone in your family and in your social circle in the way that’s allowed and accepted for your children.

It’s also very important that you address your children in a respectful way so that they see that they should speak in the same tone that you use with them. Avoid sarcasm and rude words that can negatively impact your young children or teens.

Recognize when they act in a polite way

Pay special attention to them when they behave in a courteous manner and show you respect.

Positively reinforce actions that show respect for you or any other family member and don’t miss these occasions to encourage friendly interactions under any circumstances.

Give them enough attention

On many occasions, the reason your children respond poorly is that they feel ignored. Spend at least an hour a day listening to them, participating in their activities, and immersing yourself in what they’re living. Disconnect for a moment from the cell phone and work matters to share with your children.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.