Conversations To Avoid in Front of Children

There are certain conversations that it is better not to have in front of the children. We tell you which are the most important.
Conversations To Avoid in Front of Children
María José Roldán

Written and verified by the psychopedagogue María José Roldán.

Last update: 27 December, 2022

When adults have “grown-up conversations” in front of children, we ask them not to ask questions or get involved in what doesn’t involve them. But when others talk about a topic in front of you, you’re interested and you like to participate, right? The same thing happens to little ones and, if you don’t want them to listen to something, it’s better to take into account what conversations to avoid in front of the children.

Even at times when children seem not to be listening, they are. Therefore, it’s very important to be aware of this, and when you have to talk about any of these issues, do it in private when your children aren’t around.

Topics to avoid in front of children

You shouldn’t allow your little ones to receive more information than what they can understand or handle on their own. Therefore, there are certain topics that are best to avoid in front of children. When in doubt, then it’s best if you discuss it in private.

Parents arguing while their daughter sits on the floor covering her ears.

Of course, whether or not to speak about a topic in front of a child will depend above all on the child’s age and their ability to understand. But as a guide, we’re going to comment on some topics that are better not to talk about in front of your children.

Badmouthing other people

If you want your children to respect you and to respect others and themselves, then don’t speak ill of other people, even if you don’t like them or they’ve done something to you that you consider negative. Save your arguments to discuss with another adult when the children aren’t around.

Of course, it’s normal not to get along with everyone, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t speak respectfully about them, even if you don’t like them. Criticizing isn’t good, much less mentioning negative words or insults towards other people, whether they’re present or not.

Avoid adult concerns in front of children

If you have any type of sorry, for example, work, money, or problems with other people, be careful what you say in front of children. Your children should grow up feeling safe and secure, knowing that you’ll do everything you can to keep them safe.

Therefore, if you want to explain something to them, you can do it, of course, but always measuring your words well and adapting them according to their age and ability to understand. Under no circumstances should you convey your adult concerns to them, because then you’ll be generating fears that they won’t know how to digest.

Devalue adult chores

If you don’t feel comfortable with your job, if you don’t like doing housework, etc., don’t devalue the things you do every day. Be careful not to talk about your daily responsibilities reluctantly. This can be dangerous because the child could understand that it’s right not to feel motivated by anything. At the same time, they’ll have a hard time seeing the positive side of jobs and housework, etc.

Another aspect to consider is that it can lead to undesirable apathetic behavior. Therefore, always try to find the positive side of things, even if they don’t motivate you too much. You can always find the bright side of everything! Avoiding these issues in front of the children is beneficial for all.

Talk about children as if they’re not listening

Perhaps they’re absorbed in playing or doing other things and you think that if you talk about them they won’t hear you. Don’t fall for this common mistake. It’s important that you respect their identity and that you don’t talk about them with other people, much less do it in a derogatory way. Also, don’t speak in code assuming they don’t understand you!

If you have to discuss a topic about your children with another adult, it’s better to do it when the little ones aren’t around. If you do, your children, in addition to being humiliated, will feel that you’re disrespecting them, and they’ll feel emotionally abandoned because of your ignorance towards their presence.

Two parents sittin gon the couch while their parents argue.

Avoid marital conflicts in front of the children

It’s common for couples to have moments of crisis or to argue without thinking that there are two little eyes and ears looking and listening to everything that happens. It’s even more terrible to use children to hurt one’s partner.

In any case, if you have to argue with your partner or ex-partner, never do it in front of the children because you’ll be creating too much emotional insecurity, as well as a lot of unnecessary pain and suffering. No matter how much you want to argue, just think about your children and that they’re more important than your uncontrolled ego.

Now the time has come for you to reconsider all these topics that we’ve discussed and, if you usually have conversations of this type in front of your children, don’t repeat your mistake! They need you to have safer conversations for their emotional development.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Rovira Mascal, J, M. (2020) Conversaciones sobre la educación de los hijos. Editorial: Independently published.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.