10 Keys to Raising Resilient Children

Here are 10 keys that can be very helpful when it comes to raising resilient children who know how to face and overcome adversity.
10 Keys to Raising Resilient Children
Marián Carrero Puerto

Written and verified by the psychologist Marián Carrero Puerto.

Last update: 27 December, 2022

Today we want to provide a few guidelines for raising resilient children. That way, both parents and children can benefit and be able to overcome adverse situations in the best way possible.

More than likely, you’ve heard a lot of talk about the term “resilience.” If you’re still unclear about what it means, we’ll provide you with two brief definitions, both from the Merriam-Webster dictionary.

First, it defines resilience as: “The capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress.” Second, it defines this term as: “ an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.”

“A good half of the art of living is resilience.”

– Alain de Botton –

How to raise resilient children?

Resilience is an ability that we can all develop and learn. It’s a matter of raising resilient children that can successfully take on adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, and even major sources of stress. You can help them manage stress and feelings of anxiety or uncertainty in the midst of complicated times.

Resilience is almost indispensable when it comes to taking on change and crises properly. People that are resilient are able to use problems as a way to grow. Make no mistake – this doesn’t mean they don’t suffer as a result of their difficulties. However, they’re able to overcome them, focusing on the solution and adapting to new circumstances.

10 Keys to Raising Resilient Children

Every single one of us can develop resilience and help our children do the same. The ability to resist involves behaviors, thoughts, and actions that we can learn with the passing of time. Below, we’ll present guidelines from the American Psychological Association (APA, 2020):

1. Set limits

Teach your kids how to make friends, which includes the capacity to feel empathy – or feel someone else’s pain. Encourage them to be friends in order to make friends. Relating to others gives us social support and strengthens resistance. What’s more, developing a strong family network gives support to our children during times of inevitable disappointments and hurt.

2. Help your children by making them help others

Helping others allows children to overcome the sensation that they can’t do anything. Encourage your children to get involved in volunteer work that’s age-appropriate. Asking them to help you with something around the house can be beneficial as well.

3. Maintaining a daily routine will help you in raising resilient children

Respecting and maintaining a routine can be very comforting for children, who truly long for structure in their lives. This is especially true in very small children. So, it’s good to encourage them to carry out their own routines.

4. Take a rest

Teach your children how to concentrate on something other than what’s worrying them. Parents need to be careful about what they expose their children to… Be it the news, the internet, or conversations they happen to witness. We need to make sure our little ones can take a break from these things that cause them unease and discomfort.

5. Self-care

Set a good example and teach your kids the importance of taking time to eat properly, exercise, and rest. Make sure they have time to have fun and don’t plan every minute of their lives without allowing them to rest. Self-care, even having fun, helps maintain balance and prepares children to face stressful moments successfully.

6. Work toward goals in order to raise resilient children

Teach your children to set reasonable goals and then, little by little, work toward achieving them. Advancing toward goals, even one small step at a time, and receiving praise for doing so will help children concentrate on their achievements rather than on what they haven’t achieved. It can also help them develop resilience to get through the challenges life throws their way.

7. Encourage positive self-esteem

Remind your children of some past situation where they were able to successfully manage despite adversity. Then, help them understand that those past challenges will help them develop the strength to handle future challenges.

Help your little ones learn to trust themselves to solve problems and make good decisions. Teach them to have a sense of humor and be able to laugh at themselves.

10 Keys to Raising Resilient Children

“It’s your reaction to adversity, not adversity itself that determines how your life’s story will develop.”

– Dieter R. Uchtdorf –

8. Keep an optimistic perspective and positive attitude to raise resilient children

Show them there’s a future beyond whatever complicated situation they’re going through… A future that can be good. A positive and optimistic attitude allows us to see the good in life and carry on even during the hardest times.

9. Look for opportunities for self-discovery

Difficult moments tend to also be moments of self-discovery and self-knowledge. They’re times when we – both children and adults – learn more about ourselves. We must help our children see how what they’re going through can show them what they’re made of. In other words, show your children how hard times can reveal and develop their true strengths.

“Lets us not be surprised when we have to face difficulties. When the wind blows hard on a tree, the roots stretch and grow stronger, let it be so with us. Let us not be weaklings, yielding to every wind that blows, but strong in spirit to resist.”

– Amy Carmichael –

10. Acceptance: Change is a part of life

Changes can sometimes be really scary for children and teenagers. It’s fundamental that we help our kids see that the world is constantly changing and that this is part of life. We can always change goals for new ones or wait for a better time to reach them.

Conclusions regarding raising resilient children

As you can see, these 10 keys can be very helpful when it comes to raising resilient who can rise above adversity and come out stronger. So, what are you waiting for to put them into practice?


All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.