You'll Always Be My Weakness, Even Though You Give Me Strength

16 February, 2018
 

We have said it many times before: the arrival of a child changes our lives. It makes us stronger, and transforms our weakness and uncertainty, nourishing us with hope and courage.

However, there is something we must admit; this new life that we hold in our arms will always be our greatest weakness.

Gabriel Garcia Marquez once said in one of his books that when “a newborn squeezes his father’s finger with his little hand for the first time, he has trapped him forever.”

This feeling is experienced by everyone who takes a step towards motherhood or fatherhood either naturally or through adoption.

The emotional imprint that begins when the first glance and caress occurs, is made very deep in the heart and mind.

As we have already mentioned on more than one occasion on YouAreMom, the brain is a fascinating organ and its modifications when raising children are astonishing.

It becomes more alert and secretes higher levels of oxytocin, the hormone that regulates the need to provide attention. It also intensifies the bonds of affection.

However, there is something more profound and delicate that changes when we become parents, something that momentarily baffles us and unsettles us even more as our child gets stronger, grows older and becomes an adult.

No matter what a child does, it doesn’t matter where they are tomorrow, what they are dedicated to or the distance that separates us: he or she will always be your weakness.

You’ll always be part of me, half of my heart

 
You'll Always Be My Weakness, Even Though You Give Me Strength

Whether you carried them for 9 months or not, the child grew day by day in your heart. They leave a mark on you that lasts forever, a sort of emotional DNA that will always accompany you.

Nobody but you knows how many nights you spent awake, taking care of them. Only you know what you have given up and the effort you have invested in them. You love them even more than you love yourself.

Every day spent parenting is an achievement and a triumph. Even though every child has their own rhythms, you will keep those incredible milestones they achieved in your memory forever.

Their first words, first steps, first race, first day of school and the first story they read out loud… All of this is part of your life’s story.

It is a legacy that will shape your internal architecture as a person. It will sculpt your heart moment by moment until you realize that your children will always be the authentic loves of your life.

You are and will always be my weakness, regardless of time or distance

You'll Always Be My Weakness, Even Though You Give Me Strength
 

It is often said that mothers forgive everything.

While children sometimes choose to take the wrong path, parents always have an intrinsic need to help them, to be the helping hand, the warm comforting hug that welcomes them back home.

A mother knows that her children will always be her weakness, because she has the ability to put herself in their shoes, to feel what her child is feeling, and to suffer more than anyone else whenever her child is suffering.

A mother’s greatest wish is that her little one, whether 7, 27, or 37 years old, is happy.

This “invisible and intangible umbilical cord” has nothing to do with wanting to control the child, to have him close and indulge in a kind of toxic relationship.

A wise, intelligent and respectful mother does everything in her power to make her child feel free, mature, strong, and capable of choosing their own paths and building their own happiness.

We have the strength to raise strong children, but our true power is sensitivity

Mother-child-cartoon-stronger

This is undoubtedly a curious but wonderful contradiction: having a child forces us to put aside our insecurities, to take care of our character, to be that example of temperance, courage, and strength so as to inspire our children every day.

 

Nevertheless, it is precisely our ability to be sensitive that allows us to get closer to them so as to offer them a better upbringing.

  • Being sensitive means being able to understand our child’s emotions and put ourselves in their shoes.
  • Sensitivity means turning our love, respect and affection into our best educational tool.
  • Being sensitive means becoming a mirror in which our children will see us as beings that are able to understand them, guide them, listen to them without judging, guide them without imposing. We should educate in a fair way without ever raising our voices.

In conclusion, when it comes to educating and raising children, strength is essential, as it makes us feel more capable. Yet we should never forget that what children need most in order to grow is the sensitivity of their parents.

  • Bowlby, J. (1986). Vínculos afectivos: formación, desarrollo y pérdida. Madrid: Morata.
  • Bowlby, J. (1995). Teoría del apego. Lebovici, Weil-HalpernF.
  • Garrido-Rojas, L. (2006). Apego, emoción y regulación emocional. Implicaciones para la salud. Revista latinoamericana de psicología, 38(3), 493-507. https://www.redalyc.org/pdf/805/80538304.pdf
  • Marrone, M., Diamond, N., Juri, L., & Bleichmar, H. (2001). La teoría del apego: un enfoque actual. Madrid: Psimática.
  • Moneta, M. (2003). El Apego. Aspectos clínicos y psicobiológicos de la díada madre-hijo. Santiago: Cuatro Vientos