Even Mothers Cry about Exhaustion, Stress and Fear

Even Mothers Cry about Exhaustion, Stress and Fear
Valeria Sabater

Reviewed and approved by the psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Written by Valeria Sabater

Last update: 22 December, 2021

There are days when even “super mom” reaches her limits and breaks down in tears. She can’t take it any more, her exhaustion imprisons her until she puts aside her shining armor to reveal a woman who only needs a moment alone.

If this has happened to you on more than one occasion, don’t worry or think that you are about to fall into the abyss of depression. The stress of raising one or more children, combined with other factors, can lead us into tough situations. In these moments, it’s necessary to stop for a second, destress and recollect your thoughts and emotions.

Although we speak about “moms” we are also very aware that fathers can also go through the same situation. Believe it or not, these situations can have their own benefits.

We all aspire at times to be the best mothers or fathers we can be, trying to control every aspect of our child’s growth while also trying to give them the best of ourselves.

It is not easy to maintain this high level of self-demand every day. Reaching the limit is realizing that even though our children are our main priority, we must also take care of ourselves.

You will not become a bad mother because you give yourself half an hour of rest. Nobody has the right to criticize you for taking care of yourself, and even pampering yourself.

This is the only way that you will be able to give your best to your children. We suggest that you reflect on this.

Physical and emotional exhaustion

Feeling exhaustion in not synonymous with being tired of our children. Saying “I can’t take it anymore” is not a sign of weakness.

Sometimes the remorse we feel for thinking this way is much worse than the physical and emotional exhaustion that we are feeling. Therefore, it is useful to understand and rationalize some basic aspects.

Mother suffering from exhaustion

 “Multitasking” Mom or Dad

Children do not raise themselves. They need 150% of our attention constantly. As if that wasn’t enough, raising children, giving them their necessary attention and education is usually added to the responsibility of taking care of the house or a job.

Multitasking can be one of our most voracious enemies. We can be effective at multitasking for a month, two months or maybe even five months, but there will come a time when our minds and bodies can not maintain this level of strain.

When our inner voice tells us “I have to accomplish everything” but our brain responds with “I cannot do any more”, stress starts to wreak havoc in our bodies.

  • Fatigue translates into pain. Our limbs and bones start to hurt; we feel pressure in our chests.
  • The heart rate rises, we suffer from indigestion, episodes of diarrhea and constipation.
  • When we get to the limit we sometimes respond incorrectly using bad words such as “shut up,” “leave me alone” almost unintentionally. There are words we say without thinking about our children’s feelings and this eventually makes us upset as well.

The pressure of high demand

We have intense pressure and demands that are placed on us by society, family and even by ourselves. We want to be “super moms”, who are always up to date when it comes to parenting. Moms who give their best to their children, who aspire to have happy, bright and responsible children…

There is no need to meet unrealistic demands. In fact, it is enough to raise happy and healthy children with good self-esteem in the company of happy mothers and fathers.

Parents should know how to enjoy the small moments of everyday life. This is something that stress does not allow us to do.

mom feeling the effects of stress and exhaustion

We must change some small patterns

Crying is necessary and so is taking care of ourselves.

You must first understand that it’s not necessary nor recommended to be the “perfect mom or dad.” The essential key is to know how to be present whenever our children need us. Once you understand that, try to reflect on the following advice.

  • When it comes to educating and caring for a child, every day will be different and different things will be required of you. Take up these challenges calmly without worrying too much. Live in the present, the here and now with your children.
  • It’s okay if you cry, it’s also fine if your children see you crying. Tell them that “mommy needs a moment” and that everyone of us needs to cry from time to time in order to be “stronger.” Remember emotional relief is always good.
  • Do not carry all the responsibilities, fears, pressures and doubts on your shoulders. Share them with your partner and family. Ask your pediatrician when you have any doubts or worries about your child.
  • You have the right to enjoy moments of leisure, relaxation and privacy. You will not be a “bad mother” for allowing yourself an hour or two a day to yourself.
  • Find support in your group of friends and with other moms. In these groups you can share experiences and discover that, in fact, you are not the only one who cries secretly, feels exhausted or has doubts.
moms and their children having breakfast together

It is all a normal process that allows us to become more aware of ourselves. It also helps us see where we can improve. Enjoy the adventure of being a mother but never neglect yourself. You are the most important person for your children.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.