How to Overcome Relationship Crises

No couple is exempt from having arguments. However, crises don't always yield negative results: they can signify a new challenge to strengthen a relationship.
How to Overcome Relationship Crises

Last update: 04 October, 2018

Many different situations in life can affect the course of a relationship. Of course, the breakup can also occur because time can wear and tear the situation even more. Up next, we’ll analyze how to overcome relationship crises, as well as the causes of them.

Everything’s wonderful at the beginning of a relationship. We love every single detail of the other person and every second we spend with them is amazing.

However, as time passes by, we start to notice things in them we hadn’t before. This isn’t something to be alarmed about, as every couple goes through this transition. It’s the natural way in which relationships flow and develop.

As the relationship evolves, other things add to the equation: children, coexistence, responsibilities, etc. All of those aspects can bring complicated moments into the couple’s lives.

In those cases, it’s necessary for both of them to count on the necessary tools in order not to let the hard times get the best of their love.

Relationship crises are common, the important thing is knowing how to overcome them.

Possible causes of relationship crises

As we noted previously, time is the main reason for these conflicts. It’s a completely natural process. As the years go by, our enthusiasm becomes clouded by something or someone, which makes us be more critical and demanding.

This doesn’t happen only to couples, this could happen to friends, cars, houses, clothes… It’s just the way things are.

On the other hand, these difficult moments in relationships can also occur when there are unresolved conflicts; when one of the parties doesn’t seem as interested as they once were, or when there are problems involving other people.

This isn’t something out of the ordinary: every single relationship in the world has gone through a crisis. In fact, overcoming relationship crises can bring positive changes.

How to Overcome Relationship Crises

How to identify relationship crises

Relationship crises often leave clear signals that can be detected in everyday life. Some of them are:

  • Demotivation to have conversations or do things together.
  • Constant (and even sometimes excessive) arguments.
  • Distrust, feeling of mutual (or one-sided) persecution.
  • Lack of sexual desire and a decrease in intimacy.
  • Observing only the other person’s faults, leading to destructive and hurtful criticism.

How to overcome relationship crises

This isn’t some sort of mechanical procedure through which we can fix any problem we want. However, the following recommendations can be quite helpful when it comes to overcoming relationship crises. Let’s see what they are.

1. Communication is key

First off, the most important thing here is communication. It’s important for both parties to know where they stand. Not even the best of conversations could save a relationship if one of them wants to end it.

Once they’ve met this requirement, each one of them should express their point of view openly, clearly, and most importantly, without letting rage get the best of them.

In addition, it’s necessary to try to understand the other person’s opinion and be empathic. There’s no point in wanting to be the one who’s right when wanting to get to an agreement.

If there are no third parties involved in the feud, it’s up to the two people in the relationship to fix the problem. This is why it’s vital to sit down together and have a mature conversation about what to do next.

Both parties should be willing to negotiate and try to find what’s best for the relationship.

2. Respect each other’s time

More often than not, breakups caused by relationship crises don’t last. It may be that one person needs some time and space to reflect and think things through.

In these situations, it’s not only recommended to respect the other person’s space but to do the same ourselves. Spending time all by yourself is a good thing. Think about what you like to do and those plans you’re thinking of carrying out. This may be a good time to start working towards what you desire.

This isn’t about distracting ourselves from our problems. On the contrary, focusing on other things (especially if they make you happy) will help you clear your mind and allow positive thoughts to come your way.

3. Decide rationally

Although being in a relationship has a lot to do with love and feelings towards the other person, it’s also necessary to be rational. We can’t let ourselves be driven by our emotions every time; problems require us to think clearly.

If you genuinely care for the other person and want to have a healthy, stable relationship with them, any conflict is solvable. However, if that isn’t the case, continuing in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy will end up hurting you and the other person even more.

How to Overcome Relationship Crises

You have to put the cards on the table and reach an agreement with your partner. Remember what made you fall in love with them in the first place, all those things you used to do together back in the day.

Try to imagine your future with and without them and see which idea you like best. Being in a relationship means not thinking about ourselves only. Taking the other person’s feelings into consideration is vital if you want the relationship to be fulfilling.

As we said before, this isn’t a mathematical formula. Therefore, these tips might not be suitable for all cases. You know the situation better than anyone else so it’s up to you to decide what to do.

Going through relationship crises may be hard, it’s definitely a painful moment in which we are prone to passionate behaviors. Focus on what you really want and what’s best for the both of you.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Beck, A. T. (2009). Con el amor no basta: cómo superar malentendidos, resolver conflictos y enfrentarse a los problemas de pareja. Barcelona [etc]: Paidós, 2003 Barcelona [etc.]: Paidós, 2003.
  • Morfa, J. D. (2003). Prevención de los conflictos de pareja. Desclée de Brouwer.
  • Vargas, J., & Ibáñez, J. (2007). Solucionando los problemas de pareja y familia: fundamentos teóricos y alternativas de solución a los conflictos desde la perspectiva del vínculo. Editorial Pax México.
  • Willi, J. (1985). La pareja humana: relación y conflicto. Ediciones Morata.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.