There is a debate currently going on about whether it’s right to pamper children. Some specialists believe that pampered children become weak adults, while others say it’s a normal pattern of today’s society.
An adult that is incapable of making decisions and who fails in the face of pressure was most likely pampered as a child during childhood.
The ability to take on responsibilities is associated with character. Some parents try to avoid giving their children “a hard time.” That’s why they decide to solve all their little one’s problems.
Children need to learn to resist and work as a team. They need to be humble and recover after failures. These are traits that define character.
Pampering a child too much could be a result of a parent’s frustration.
People who had difficult childhoods tend to overprotect their children. They seek to give their children everything they didn’t have themselves as children.
Age and social patterns
Another aspect that should be considered has to do with the age of the parents. Nowadays, couples tend to have children after the age of 30.
In some cases, the difficulty it took to conceive the child or their work responsibilities make them more permissive.
Today’s couples are what shape the theory of society’s current pattern. They’re parents who share the role of raising their children with professional success. Both of these responsibilities require a lot of commitment and effort.
Traits of a pampered child
Pampered children usually don’t respect limits. They’re convinced that the world revolves around them. They get used to receiving without giving anything in return.
As a result, they don’t value their parents since they believe their parents should always be there to please them.
Another common trait of pampered children is their inability to act. When they’re faced with problems at school or social pressure, they don’t know how to react. They recognize they have a problem, but they aren’t prepared to face it.
They can get frustrated when they feel helpless in situations that they believe are unfair.
Pampered children are able to identify things they don’t like, but they have trouble changing them. Frustration in pampered children can lead to depression when they grow up.
Aggressiveness is another trait of these children. They act with aggression when frustrated – that’s where the situation of physical aggression by children on parents occurs.
Lastly, they’re usually intolerant children who don’t assume responsibility for their actions. They also lack remorse. In some cases, they may suffer from anxiety, mood swings and low self-esteem.
What should you do with pampered children?
It’s important for children to start being independent after the age of 4. Giving them simple responsibilities can help shape their character. In addition, they will learn to appreciate rewards after a job well done.
The “cause and effect” theory is important when it comes to establishing rules. You have to teach your children that every action generates a reaction. This will also teach them how to control their frustration.
Children should learn that they won’t always get what they want. The way they face failure will be the attitude they take when taking on challenges as adults. It’s important to recognize and respect their feelings.
One of the most difficult tasks for parents is to ignore tantrums. Pampered children are used to creating scandals in order to get what they want.
When faced with these situations, parents should remain calm and avoid all types of abuse. If the child is given what they want after a tantrum, they will establish a cause and effect relationship. They will associate whining and making nice with reaching their objective.
How to say no to a pampered child?
In the first place, parents should always be on the same team. They should agree on their strategy and not contradict themselves. In addition, they must be consistent with their actions and keep their word.
Saying NO, must be done with a positive stance. Start by reinforcing the positive and then indicate what they should correct. Initiating an ideal with a NO from the start can generate immediate rejection from the child.
When explaining why you’re saying no, you should be calm and appeal in a soft and firm voice. Avoid physical contact and aggressive expressions.
This behavior will only contribute to more conflict. The reasons and consequences of your decision should be explained to the child.
It’s important for parents to remain firm after saying no. Only then will children know where the limits are.
In conclusion, there should be no extremes when it comes to raising children.
Pampering them too much or being too rigid will bring negative consequences. You should teach them about manners based on fundamental values and affection.