Why Parents Need to Agree on Their Children's Education

Establishing the criteria for their children's education is essential to avoiding disagreements between parents. These differences can discourage and confuse children.
Why Parents Need to Agree on Their Children's Education

Last update: 22 June, 2019

Agreement between parents is a fundamental part of making family decisions. These range from the type of furniture they want for the house to how many children they’d like to have, and the kind of diet they want to implement. Of course, parents also need to be in agreement with respect to their children’s education.

If you think there may be significant differences regarding education, this article will be of interest to you. Learn why adults need to find common ground in order to ensure a proper upbringing for their little ones.

What does children’s education entail?

To understand why parents should agree on their children’s education, one must address the importance of educational processes. This way, it will be possible to foresee any disagreements between parents when it comes to their children’s schooling.

The educational process usually begins with an authority figure. This can be a teacher, parents, older siblings or friends who the child holds in high esteem. Learning allows children to acquire information, as well as skills, habits, beliefs and values.

It follows that for a child to be properly educated, there are several factors that come into play. One of the main things to consider is that there cannot be disagreements among the relevant authority figures.

This concept applies both to the relationship between the parents and the bond between parents and teachers. If disagreements emerge, the child may absorb the idea of conflict as a way of life, or simply be destabilized.

Why disagreements occur

Disagreements regarding a child’s education may arise suddenly or may be foreseeable. In the latter case, it’s possible that both parents know before the child is even born that, due to cultural or religious reasons, there will be differences regarding what the child should and shouldn’t learn.

Nowadays, marriages between people from different cultures or religions is more common than before. However, the possibility of different standards for education shouldn’t be taken lightly.

Why Parents Need to Agree on Their Children's Education

It’s recommended that, before the child is born, there should be a consensus regarding the basic issues of parenting. Otherwise, the child may suffer the consequences and the marriage may deteriorate.

Another reason why disagreements arise is coparenting. This occurs when the parents are no longer in a loving relationship and don’t reside in the same home. One example is divorce.

It often happens that the lack of closeness and effective communication between the parents can prevent them from reaching agreements. It can even mean that one or both aren’t fully involved in the children’s education.

Why parents should agree regarding their children’s education

Having analyzed the nature of the educational process and why disagreements may occur, it’s time to look at the consequences of parental disagreements regarding education.


Children who witness disagreements between their parents, or receive different messages with respect to their education, can soon become fatigued. Ultimately, they may not comply with any of their parents’ requests.

“There cannot be disagreements among the relevant authority figures. If disagreements emerge, the child may absorb the idea of conflict as a way of life, or simply be destabilized.”

Children begin to take sides

Arguments regarding children’s education can cause them to take sides and decide on a “favorite parent.” As a result, one parent will lose authority, respect and affection.

Learning difficulties

Children can begin to experience learning difficulties when they’re the object of domestic arguments. They may become stressed and lose motivation to fulfill their responsibilities and meet their goals.

Why Parents Need to Agree on Their Children's Education

Problems at school

When one or both parents fail to commit to their child’s education, it can be difficult for the child to maintain good relationships with teachers. In these cases, the child may lose respect for authority figures. If this happens, it can prove difficult to properly meet the child’s needs.

As a final recommendation, it’s worth noting that maintaining a mature attitude and keeping the child’s best interests in mind are key to raising a responsible and productive adult. The relationships between the parents – the people in charge of their upbringing – is absolutely essential.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.