Educate Your Child Without Threats
Threats don’t help you change your child’s behavior. Here are a few tips on how to educate your child without the use of threats.
Educating without threats may be the only way to permanently change your child’s behavior.
The use of threats usually accomplishes the opposite result. The child tends to behave even worse, rather than obeying what you say.
Threats aren’t a useful parenting tool since they often lead to power struggles and arguments. They can also lead to discouraging your child.
Threatening children also robs them of learning opportunities – e specially if they’re used as the only absolute way to make your child cooperate.
In the short term, your child might comply with what you say. However, in the long term, threats have the power to seriously affect their self-esteem and everything related to their psycho-emotional health.
Children hate threats. When threatened they will simply seek for greater independence.
When you warn your child about a consequence or punishment for their actions, it’s important to make sure it’s something you can fulfill.
Keep in mind that an irrational threat, or an unproportional threat won’t teach your child anything about the realistic consequences of their behavior.
When parents choose to educate their children without the use of threats, they gain health and well-being, not only for themselves but also for their children.
It allows them to create healthier bonds and therefore a harmonious environment is created where everyone’s best qualities are enhanced.
5 Tips on how to educate without threats
Sometimes, educating without threats isn’t an easy task. Many mothers don’t feel like they’re in charge if their children don’t do what they’re asked to. As a result, they end up threatening them to cooperate.
Here are some tips that will help you achieve the necessary objectives without the use of threats:
Prevent power struggles
Being the reference in your child’s life begins with the decision not to let their behavior or misconduct make you lose your temper.
When you need your child to carry out a task, the child will perceive the power that they have to either carry out the task or not.
If we examine the irrational thoughts that feed our discomfort, we’ll be able to diminish their negative effects. This will result in reducing drama, threats and bribes.
Instead of approaching your child to do something, accompany them, recognizing their reticence without criticizing them.
Gain control of your emotions
If you’re able to handle your own emotions and reactions, you’ll be more inclined to use logic to convince them of the importance of carrying out a task.
Therefore, you’ll be able to obtain their cooperation in a natural way with silent authority.
When parents who are in control notice their children are behaving inappropriately, they don’t have to start a power struggle since they’re genuinely in charge.
Being confident and sure confirms your leadership position and reduces the possibility of rebellion from your child.
When your child perceives you as stable and reliable regardless of whether they’re naughty or nice, you satisfy their need of feeling cared for and protected.
Children are generally happier when they have someone who directs them confidently without getting upset.
Discuss the negative consequences ahead of time
You should explain to them the negative consequences of breaking the rules at the right time. Time-outs, eliminating privileges or logical consequences can help them learn from their mistakes.
Think about the consequences that are most effective in your child. Some consequences that work well for one child may not work for another.
Plan specific consequences for specific offenses. If you have appropriate consequences for their actions, you won’t feel bad when it’s time to carrying them out.
Give them warnings
As your child is complying with a punishment for disrespect or bad behavior, don’t be afraid to give them warnings. Since they’ve been punished in the past, they’ll know that your warnings are serious.
You should give them three warnings before enacting a punishment for their behavior. Keep in mind that most children will stop with one or two warnings.
Educating without the use of threats can be simpler than it seems. It’s all about putting the work in and knowing when it’s healthy to be stern with a child.
Keep in mind that children need us not only to learn about their duties but also to receive love and understanding.
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
- Ballenato, G. (2007). Educar sin gritar: Padres e hijos:¿ convivencia o supervivencia?. La Esfera de los Libros.
- Torres, A., Suárez, A., & Rodrigo, M. J. (2014). Educar en Positivo: Primeros resultados y retos de futuro. Revista Iberoamericana de Sistemas, Cibernética e Informática, 11(2), 1-13. http://www.iiisci.org/journal/CV$/risci/pdfs/AI001AI14.pdf
- Peressón, M. (2006). Educar en positivo. Sophia, Colección de Filosofía de la Educación, (1), 234-271. https://www.redalyc.org/pdf/4418/441846111005.pdf