How To Deal With Unwanted Tips

How To Deal With Unwanted Tips

Last update: 22 February, 2018

We often receive lots of unwanted tips when we’re expecting our first child. In this article, we’ll share four ways to deal with this complicated situation without losing your cool.

Most first-time mothers have had to deal with receiving a flood of advice from friends and family. Sometimes loved ones can even begin to overwhelm you with recommendations, especially when they go against the advice you’ve received from your doctor.

“The baby is not safe,” “Do not let him crawl,” “Eat whenever you want and whatever you want,” “Do not let him cry,” “Do not breastfeed but instead use a bottle to let you sleep,” among others.

These are some of the insistent and misguided reminders that new moms may receive. Her mother-in-law, sisters-in-law, mothers, sisters, friends and close friends overwhelm her with unsolicited experiences and recommendations.

Another common character is the typical “wise” or “know-it-all” parent who believes they know everything about raising children, and is convinced that everyone else is wrong.

What is the problem with receiving unwanted tips?

With the arrival of motherhood, we must adapt to a new reality, facing fears, doubts, and challenges. If we also add in unwanted advice, such suggestions actually overwhelm us.

Things become complicated if we contrast medical information with tips from loved ones. Things get even more complicated by not knowing how to act in front of loved ones, either out of fear of hurt feelings or simply to avoid any arguments.

How To Deal With Unwanted Tips

The truth is that there are several ways to deal with those unwanted and exhausting tips. Here are four options that can help you solve this complex and distressing situation.

4 ways to deal with unwanted tips

Are you looking for the right way to deal with unwanted tips? Are you afraid of what may happen by rejecting or contradicting them?

Not to worry. Pay attention and take note of the following ways to respond:

  • Express yourself. Share your own opinion and knowledge. It is not wrong to express your disagreement with the point of view or advice they give, or even make it clear that you will not apply those suggestions. Nothing bad can happen if you create a dialogue with respect, thus avoiding a possible falling out.

Explain the reasons why you’ve decide not to follow the advice. This shows that you listen to what they say but you contrast the information with what you’ve learned on your own, without generating anger.

The last variant involves listening to the recommendation, saying thank you, and also saying that on your baby’s next visit to the pediatrician, you’ll discuss the issue to clear up any doubts you may have.

  • Evaluate. Despite being angry, you should consider that the unsolicited advice can also be good. Accepting the useful, wise and constructive suggestions from other people does not hurt and sometimes teaches you to solve problems and to be more practical.

Therefore, do not resist and oppose all the advice simply because you didn’t request it. It is essential to have an open mind to allow yourself to listen to a piece of information that can be useful for the upbringing and care of your baby.

  • Smile. Even when you are annoyed by their unwanted advice, it is advisable to answer with a “thank you, I’ll keep it in mind,” and with a smile on your face. Thus, you avoid carrying unnecessary guilt and you will leave the advice giver satisfied.

Remember who the mother is. No matter what advice you receive, always remember that you are the mother of the child and, therefore, you can raise them in the way you think is right.

Always choose the best for your child and, to do so, follow what your heart tells you is right and ignore the rest.

How To Deal With Unwanted Tips

Receiving advice that you didn’t ask for may be annoying. However, it is important to reflect on the intent of the  advice giver: Did they do it with good intentions or just to criticize?

By answering this question, you will know how to act and what action to take when your relatives decide to give you unsolicited advice.

Take a deep breath and be thankful, because you are surrounded by people who care about you and your child.

The good thing is that, when it comes down to it, nobody knows what’s best for your child better than you.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.