I'm Not a Perfect Mother But I Always Do My Best

I'm not a perfect mother, nor do I pretend to be. However, every day of my life I do the best I can. Do you do the same?
I'm Not a Perfect Mother But I Always Do My Best
María José Roldán

Reviewed and approved by the psychopedagogue María José Roldán.

Last update: 27 December, 2022

Society demands us to be mothers and raise our children as if we had no other job. However, at the same time, it dictates that we work and be as productive as if we didn’t have children. I don’t pay any attention to this. In fact, I know I’m not a perfect mother, but I always do my best.

Being a mother isn’t easy, and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. I’m a mother who learns from my mistakes, and my children are my greatest teachers. I know that I make mistakes and that I don’t always make the right decisions, but I always make them in the best interests of my children and family.

Since I became a mother

What if your child calls you by your name.

I became a mother before I even held my first child in my arms. I became a mother when I first found out I was pregnant. That was the moment I started making decisions for my baby’s sake. I took better care of my health and every aspect of my life so that my baby developed well. My only priority was that my baby was born healthy and that I’d be able to raise them with unconditional love.

I started to take care of myself so that I’d be able to take care of them. I filled my heart with love so I could offer it to my children. My very existence makes sense thanks to their smiles. I watch how they grow and how they discover the world. In turn, they give me the most valuable thing in my life: their unconditional love.

Being a mother has changed my life completely. I’ve learned to enjoy every little thing in life. For instance, appreciating a really good night’s sleep. Because sometimes my children need me in the night and I have a sleepless one. Anyway, above all, I’ve learned that I’m not perfect and that it’s okay not to be.

I don’t want to be perfect

As a matter of fact, I don’t want to be perfect. I just always do my best. Sometimes, I lose my temper and have to take a deep breath and count to 10, 100, or 1000… However, that’s motherhood. Not knowing what we’re going to eat and throwing together some pasta and tomato sauce, rushing to school because I’m running late, and not understanding how other mothers or families do it because I just don’t seem to have enough hours in the day…

I’ve also felt guilty for many things. For example, I often blame myself for

  • Losing patience.
  • Delegating tasks to others because I just can’t handle them all.
  • Giving impatient or irritable answers when stress or anxiety gets the better of me.
  • Not always being as affectionate as I’d like to be.
  • Not having enough food in the fridge because I haven’t had time to go shopping.

Also read: Mothers: How to Work Out Without Feeling Guilty

Guilt tells me that I’m not perfect

All this makes me feel bad. Nevertheless, I’m aware that there are no good or bad emotions. I know that all emotions are important and necessary to know what we need at each given moment. However, guilt often makes me feel like I’m a far from perfect mother.

On the other hand, I know it’s necessary to feel, express, and manage all of my emotions. I know that feeling bad only makes things worse, so it’s better to accept my imperfections. To be aware that this is partly what makes me unique and perfect in my own way, for my children and family.

I don’t want to lose patience or be irritable. I don’t want to forget to buy the groceries. Nevertheless, I have to accept that I’m not perfect. I’m human, and making mistakes is absolutely normal. I don’t want to be a perfect mother, I just want to do my best every day of my life.

I have faults, but I also have many virtues. That’s why I know I shouldn’t beat myself up or feel so guilty. Because every day I fight for my children so that they don’t want for anything. I try to be a better mother every day, I try to be more patient. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t shower them with hugs and kisses, no matter how anxious or stressed I feel.

Woman being judged.

I learn from my mistakes

I learn from my mistakes. If I’m wrong, I apologize and ask for forgiveness. I try to let my children see that I’m not a perfect mother, that I’m not trying to be a perfect mother either, and that it’s okay. Being wrong is okay. However, I know that I must always be responsible for my actions.

I’ve learned to forgive, to forgive myself, and to ask for forgiveness whenever necessary. Guilt will never help me … it’s destructive! I don’t want to feel guilty anymore because I lack time, because I haven’t made a healthier meal, or because I’m not helping my son enough with his homework and I want him to be more independent. I don’t feel guilty when my children squabble with each other.

Every day, I manage my life the best I can. I’m not perfect, but I’m doing my best. My mission isn’t to be perfect. My mission is that my children grow up to be independent, happy, with good self-esteem and emotional intelligence, and without being pressured to be perfect. After all, perfection doesn’t even exist. Let’s all just live life and enjoy it, along with our families.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.