Monpet Mothers Have No Time for Themselves

October 1, 2019
Are you a mom with no personal time for yourself?

Monpet mothers are a group of women that are more numerous every day. “MONPET” is an acronym for Mother with No Personal Time. Being a mother is a 24/7 job, there is no vacation or time off on the weekends. It doesn’t allow sick days or reduced workdays. Of course, we love our children dearly, but being a mother can be a stressful and tiring job at times.

You get up at 7 am. You start getting yourself ready for work. Then you wake up the children, you give them breakfast, you take them to school, and finally, you’re ready to start working. At the end of your workday, you pick up the children from school. You take them to dance class, soccer practice, swimming lessons, the park. Then when you get home it’s time to do the chores around the house. You have to clean the bathroom, make dinner, read your children a story… you nod off yourself as you’re trying to read to them.

Does this sound familiar? If you feel the same, you’re one of the monpet mothers. Find out what this means and how it affects you in the article below.

How to know if you’re one of the MONPET mothers?

Here are some of the clearest signs that you’re one of the monpet mothers:

  • If you lock yourself in the bathroom and pretend you have diarrhea just so you can answer your Whatsapp messages.
  • If you don’t mind being the one to go out to get a loaf of bread, no matter the hour just so you can have 5 minutes to yourself.
  • If you stay in the shower for the longest time so that you can stay looking at the ceiling without anyone interrupting you
  • Or if a 24-hour break just to yourself is your idea of a perfect gift.

If you see yourself in any of the situations described above, you’re likely also a monpet mom.

Monpet Mothers Have No Time for Themselves

It’s the same whether you work outside the home, or you telecommute, or you’re a stay-at-home mom. Being a mother is such an absorbing task that we tend to forget about ourselves. We have no choice in some of these situations.

Sometimes the family circumstances make it so that women have to take on all the responsibility when it comes to taking care of the children.

But, in any case, a lot of this also has to do with gender roles in society. There’s still a salary gap between men and women and there aren’t many ways that society allows you to work and your personal life. These are some of the reasons why gender inequality persists.

Helping out around the house, an unresolved issue

The well-known food company Welsh’s conducted a study in which they concluded that an overwhelming number of mothers in the United States work outside the home. The data showed that mothers with school-aged children work 98 hours a week both inside and outside the home. On average, the day for these women begins at 6:00 am and it finishes at 8:30 pm or later when the children go to bed.

As if all the work that women face during the week wasn’t enough, mothers also work full-time on the weekends. The same Welsh’s study just mentioned also found that partners and other members of the family use weekends to relax.

But the mothers in the study continued to do chores related to childcare and taking care of the house. This situation is repeated all over the world. A woman with children works twice as much as a woman without children.

Monpet Mothers Have No Time for Themselves

For example, in Spain, the INE (National Institute for Statistics) found that women dedicate 26.5 hours a week to taking care of the children, doing domestic chores, and completing other non-remunerated activities that are essential for her family. This fact is also evident in how the domestic work is assigned at home. Equality is still a pending issue in contemporary society.

Monpet Mothers: Looking for our space

As women and mothers, we’re the first ones who should start putting the brakes on this physical and mental overload and ask for time to ourselves. We need to reserve time for ourselves and take a break where we can let go of all the responsibilities that burden us.

1. Participate in an activity that you like

It doesn’t matter if you go to dance class, yoga, or macrame. Reserve a couple of hours a week to do something that makes you feel whole. It should have nothing to do with the children, or work, or with domestic activities.

This will make you connect with yourself, and recuperate that part of your being that you need to feel alive. Don’t give in to the urge to be like other monpet mothers.

Monpet Mothers Have No Time for Themselves

2. Exercise is fundamental

Moving the body releases endorphins and it’s very beneficial for our physical and mental health. You’re probably thinking: “It’s impossible to do any exercise given how tired I already am at the end of the day.”

But, as contradictory as it sounds, it will give you more energy if you also squeeze in some daily exercise. Exercise will fill you with good energy because it will make you feel better about yourself.

3. Socialize

Spend time with your friends. We know it’s complicated, especially if your friends are all mothers themselves as well. But, you should try to socialize with your friends at least once a month.

You could meet for a coffee or a drink. And it’s better to leave the children at home on these outings. Surrounding ourselves with friends and people who love us is the best way to increase our self-esteem and to feel that we’re understood. It helps us to recharge and remember that we’re our own person beyond just our families.

4. Don’t ignore your appearance

There comes a time where you can forget about yourself and even how you look and feel. This kind of attitude will take its toll over time and it can hurt your self-esteem. Take care of yourself and dedicate time to yourself.

5. Ask for help

You can’t do it all; you also have no reason to. Monpet mothers tend to have difficulties admitting they’re not superwomen and that they need a hand from time to time.

Don’t you want your children to learn to take care of themselves? Then you should push them to clean up after themselves and prepare their own meals from time to time.

You’re still there if they need help but having the rest of your family really pitch in is the only way it’ll all work. Monpet mothers, the time has arrived that you take care of yourself. Do it for yourself and your family!

 

  • Alcañiz Moscardó, M. (2015). “Género con clase: la conciliación desigual de la vida laboral y familiar”, RES. Revista Española de Sociología, 23: 29-55.
  • Pateman, C.; and Agra Romero, M. J. (1995). El contrato sexual. Madrid: Anthropos.
  • Scott, J.; Crompton, R., and Lyonette, C., eds. (2010). “Gender Inequalities in the 21st Century: New Barriers and Continuing Constraints”, Asia Pacific Journal of Human Resources, 48 (3): 378-381.