Mommy, Talk to Me With Love

Love and affection are fundamental aspects of parenting. Speaking with the right tone to children should never be forgotten, and in this article we explain its importance.
Mommy, Talk to Me With Love

Last update: 05 November, 2021

Children come into this world as blank canvases, canvases ready to create the best of works. Children are full of love, and that’s why it’s not only necessary but almost vital that they be spoken to with love from the first moment they come into our lives. Even in the womb, many mothers talk to their babies so that they know what their voice is like and feel their love.

When we hold our children in our arms and as they grow, we should continue to do the same. To provide good emotional and cognitive development to children, you have to speak to them lovingly. Every time you look into their eyes and are nervous or angry… remember that those innocent eyes are telling you something very important: “Mom, talk to me with love”.

What does it mean to speak with love?

Speaking with love, everyone knows what it is but as life progresses, we seem to forget what it means and how to do it. To speak with love is to speak without shouting but with enough firmness to transmit security and internal balance. Talking with love means to convey that the other person is capable, that you’re aware of their worth, and that you trust all their possibilities.

Speaking with love means smiling while speaking, speaking out of affection and love, and not doing it out of fear or to create fear. Words of affection will be necessary in order for children to learn to understand emotions, to name what they feel, and to understand what others are feeling at all times. Empathy begins in children when they’re spoken with love.

Children need nice words

Speaking with love to our children is something we must do from the time they’re in the womb, as it’s from the third trimester when the baby hears what’s happening around them and begin to realize the voices they hear often and are important for them.

Although the baby doesn’t understand what you’re saying, they do understand the emotions that you transmit. This is because, depending on how you say the words, you can produce certain sensations.

Young children need to have a good emotional balance, where emotions are more important than the clothes on their backs. They’ll feel the security and trust with their parents through emotional language, that is, the language of love.

If a child grows up without emotional and loving words, then they’ll suffer a developmental imbalance that will be full of voids.

How to speak with love

Bad words, labels, or value judgments can have great negative consequences on children’s emotions, so much so that it can even create stress or depression. Positive language that’s full of love will promote positive behaviors in children because if they feel good about themselves, they’ll also feel good about their surroundings.

If you think that you’re not fully capable of using emotional language with your children, you’ll have to connect with your heart. And also, it’s important to work on patience and emotional healing.

This way, you’ll be able to have a respectful maternity or paternity that allows your child to grow both on the outside and on the inside. And it’ll also help you to feel good about the way you’re raising your children.


Speak from the heart

We shouldn’t abuse positive reinforcement either because it could lose its value. Children know very well how to differentiate when we say things sincerely and when our words are empty. To be able to speak with love, you must connect your mind with your heart so that your emotions are in your words and all of your attention is in what you say to your children. To do this, the language of emotions should be your best ally. Here are some examples:

  • Talk to your children while looking into their eyes.
  • Connect with your children rather than giving our orders or punishments and allow them to be part of the decisions or consequences.
  • Listen to everything your children have to tell you.
  • Talk to them with love and tell them everything you love about them every day. But in addition to saying it… it’s also important that you show it.
  • Respect them and accept them as they are.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

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  • Moneta, M. (2003). El Apego. Aspectos clínicos y psicobiológicos de la díada madre-hijo. Santiago: Cuatro Vientos.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.