Rekindle Your Passion After Becoming Parents

It's common to lose some excitement in your relationship once you have kids. If you're wondering how to rekindle your passion after becoming parents, pay attention to our advice.
Rekindle Your Passion After Becoming Parents

Last update: 31 January, 2020

When you meet someone and feel attracted to them, you do everything in your power to win them over. In the beginning, you do everything you can to keep that flame alive. Time flies, love grows, every encounter with intimacy is more intense… You are full of passion.

However, what happens when your relationship matures? When couples get more serious and create strong bonds, it’s common for the excitement levels to go down. In fact, this happens especially after becoming parents. Don’t worry, this situation is very normal.

Keep these tips in mind so that you don’t fall into a rut. With a little help, you can rekindle your passion after becoming parents.

How can you rekindle your passion?

Maybe you focus so much on other responsibilities (children, home, work, family…) that you don’t think about your other “responsibility” – taking care of your relationship with your partnerIn fact, the first thing you should do is find what’s causing the issue so you can work together to rekindle your passion. Put yourself in each other’s shoes to figure out what happened and why.

With a little empathy, understanding and, above all, complicity, you’ll surely reach a common ground. In this sense, it’s very important for the father to understand the tremendous physical and emotional changes that come with pregnancy and childbirth.

It can be hard to rekindle your passion when you're always exhausted after becoming a parent

1. Don’t neglect each other

When you’re single and looking for your better half, you always worry about how you look and spending time together. Then, when you get comfortable in your relationship, you stop spending time together.

Not only do you stop being together physically, but also doing small, fun things together. For example, you could go to the movies or go to dinner with friends.

2. Communication is key to rekindle your passion

You shouldn’t only talk about what’s going on at home or with the kids. You need to take some time to talk about your relationship, your concerns and your desires. That way, you both know what each other needs and wants.

Maybe bedtime used to involve conversations, talking about your day, or spending some time pampering your partner… and now it’s just bedtime. Take this moment to rekindle your passion. Communicate how you’re feeling with words and cuddles.

To rekindle your passion, you need to have alone time.

3. Manage your time

You need to take this very seriously. Save a few minutes a day to be alone. Share positive experiences, and don’t think about responsibilities and daily stress for a moment. This is an important step to getting your passion back.

Doing different things will help you. Some things you can do together are planning small trips together. For example, you can go out to eat or dancing. Surprise your partner with some effort! Also, don’t feel bad if you have to leave your child with a babysitter for a little while.

4. Start from scratch

You have to bring it back to the beginning. Explore each other like the first time, and keep in mind that your body is different after going through childbirth. After giving birth, the erogenous zones can change places, and they’re ready to be discovered again. 

You can always make time for things that are important to you. If you need to cultivate your relationship, don’t waste any time to bring back that spark.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Byrd JE, Hyde JS, DeLamater JD, Plant EA. (1998). Sexuality during pregnancy and the year postpartum. J Fam Pract. 1998 Oct; 47(4):305-8.
  • Enderle, C. D. F., Kerber, N. P. D. C., Lunardi, V. L., Nobre, C. M. G., Mattos, L., & Rodrigues, E. F. (2013). Condicionantes y/o determinantes del retorno a la actividad sexual en el puerperio. Revista Latino-Americana de Enfermagem, 21(3), 719-725.
  • Gómez Cantarino, S., & Moreno Preciado, M. (2012). La expresión de la sexualidad durante la gestación y el puerperio.
  • González Labrador, I., & Miyar Pieiga, E. (2001). Sexualidad femenina durante la gestación. Revista cubana de medicina general integral, 17(5), 497-501.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.