3 Tips to Understand Your Partner

While in a relationship, arguments can happen, but sometimes couples just argue all the time, with no real reason behind it. In this article, we'll discuss a few keys to help you better understand your partner and have a more positive outlook during your arguments.
3 Tips to Understand Your Partner

Last update: 19 November, 2019

Life as a couple isn’t always easy. There are obligations and routines in every relationship and sometimes, couples stop communicating with each other. This can create friction, too. However, everything can improve if both partners agree to put effort into making the relationship work. In this article, we’ll share three tips to better understand your partner.

In a relationship, you’ll spend almost all of your time with your partner. They’re the person who knows you best, but this coexistence can lead to more arguments. This can happen because your familiarity can cause you to disconnect from the relationship, and stop you from understanding each other.

3 Tips to Understand Your Partner

The distance can help you understand your partner

Picture this. You’ve always gotten along with your partner, you like the same things, you have the same hobbies, and share a sense of humor. However, one day you’re arguing non-stop about the smallest, least significant things. You can’t remember how it started, or why you started arguing, but you want it to stop.

Relationships are a social phenomenon that rely on feedback. With great communication, the better your relationship will be in every aspect. On the other hand, with bad communication, you’ll get involved in fights and arguments, without even knowing why or how.

Inertia keeps dynamics going, but how and when did it turn so bad? Many times it happens because you’ve been so involved in your routines and thoughts. Maybe you’re overworked, maybe it’s the children, the house chores, and you unload that stress on your partner.

3 Tips to Understand Your Partner

3 tips to better understand your partner

Expand your horizons

Everybody thinks their way is the best. Based on your interpretations of the world, you expect your partner to behave in the way you want them to. You start building expectations on what they should do or say, and when this isn’t the case, you get angry.

Remember that everybody’s different and what may seem obvious to you, may not be for your partner. Work on being more flexible and empathetic, and put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Don’t take their intentions for granted. Give them a chance first.


If you want to be part of a pleasant and loving relationship, both partners should respect each other. Assaulting your partner physically or verbally is never the answer. Don’t try to humiliate them or hurt them. They’re your partner and you need to treat them with love and respect, even in the worst of the arguments.

A respectful attitude can make it easier for them to open up to you. Let them share their fears and worries without fear of being rejected or ridiculed.

Your relationship needs to be a haven where both are welcomed. If there’s no respect, it’ll be harder to express your most inner thoughts. If you can’t get to know each other, you won’t understand each other.

3 Tips to Understand Your Partner


Assertiveness is a valuable tool because it won’t only help you share your voice, it’ll make sure the other person understands what you’re trying to say. When you don’t use the right words or the right tone, your message can get distorted. An honest request to spend more time together can sound like whining to the other person, and the fighting begins.

Learn to express yourself clearly and concisely. Share how you feel and what you want without judging your partner for their feelings and needs. This a much more effective way to reach an agreement. Thus, you’re giving your partner the space they need, so they can explain how they feel and you understand each other.

In short, if you’re trying to understand your partner, give them the space to express themselves. Respect their opinions and likes, try to reach respectful and amicable agreements. Once this positive dynamic begins, it’ll be easier to continue with it.

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This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.