Co-parenting Improves a Couple's Relationship
We all know that when we have children, the harmonious relationship between couples may begin to falter. Even so, various investigations have shown that co-parenting improves a couple’s relationship.
Therefore, it’s interesting to know that by sharing the responsibilities of the house and the care of your children, both parents are happier. Do you want to know why this happens? We’ll tell you everything you need to know in the following article.
Co-parenting improves a couple’s relationship
According to research carried out by the sociologist Daniel L. Carlson, dividing up the tasks of parenting lengthens the time spent together by couples with their children. When the members are cooperative with each other, there’s a positive effect on the couple and the coexistence becomes more harmonious and stable.
This study shows that couples who share domestic responsibilities show higher levels of satisfaction in their relationship: They argue less and have better moments of intimacy.
On the contrary, in those cases in which the woman is in charge of all the parenting work, her levels of satisfaction are much lower and conflicts with her partners appear more frequently.
In any case, according to Carlson, this study has some limitations, as the tasks that were asked of the parents were related to playing with the children or to the act of making them comply with the rules. It’s not entirely clear what happened in their homes concerning other domestic tasks, such as cooking or cleaning.
What’s the most interesting thing about this study?
This study highlights that couples who share the work of raising their children have a more harmonious relationship and achieve greater satisfaction in their sexual intimacy. Also, it reduces the frequency of their arguments.
“Being satisfied reflects the stability of the relationship, so this is a good predictor of whether couples will be together.”
In this way, once the woman becomes a mother, she doesn’t have to take on all the work and receive gifts from the father as a way of saying thanks. That’s not shared parenting.
Another study, carried out by sociologist and researcher Margaret Usdansky, shows that today’s men spend more time with their children than ever before. On average, they spend about 7 hours a day, compared to the 3 that they spent 30 years ago. This happens because, in many households, the income of both parents is needed, which is why both need to work and share the responsibility of raising their children.
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Recommendations for achieving shared parenting
We’ve already seen that sharing the upbringing affects the happiness of a couple, both in their relationship and in their intimacy. But what can we do to educate our children as a team? Let’s look at some recommendations:
- Share clear dialogue between the members of the couple in which the responsibilities of parenting and the way to distribute them equitably are established.
- When making decisions, you must always remain calm.
- If one of the members of the couple feels overloaded with tasks or responsibilities, they should express what they feel to the other in order to reach an agreement.
- Admit that parenting tasks are exhausting for both of you and that when you work as a team, fatigue and stress are reduced.
- Never discuss the issues of raising or educating children in front of them, regardless of their age.
- When a consequence is imposed after a child’s misbehavior, it’s important that both parents act as a united front. Therefore, it’s key for rules to be established in advance.
- Teamwork. If one of the partners is having a bad day and responds poorly to the child, the other can help them properly regulate that reaction.
- Be patient and speak clearly and concretely. And, above all, be sure when agreements are reached.
On co-parenting and improving a couple’s relationship
According to what we’ve seen in this article, co-parenting improves a couple’s relationship and their sexual satisfaction. It’s important for parents to share responsibilities and chores so that both have time for themselves and their children. In the end, this will lead to a more satisfactory and harmonious relationship, both in the couple and in the family.
Therefore, if you think that this isn’t happening with your partner, suggest a change. Take these recommendations into account to start and get to work!It might interest you...
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
- Usdansky, M. L. (2011). The gender‐equality paradox: Class and incongruity between work‐family attitudes and behaviors. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 3(3), 163-178. Disponible en: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1756-2589.2011.00094.x
- Carlson, Daniel L., Sarah Hanson, and Andrea Fitzroy. The division of child care, sexual intimacy, and relationship quality in couples. Gender & Society 30.3 (2016): 442-466. Disponible en: https://scholarworks.gsu.edu/sociology_facpub/4/
- Gordon, Rachel A., Anna C. Colaner, Margaret L. Usdansky, and Claudia Melgar. (2013). Beyond an “Either-Or” Approach to Home- and Center-Based Childcare: Comparing Children and Families Who Combine Care Types with Those Who Use Just One. Early Childhood Research Quarterly, 28:918-935. Disponible en: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/258255335_Beyond_an_Either-Or_Approach_to_Home-_and_Center-Based_Child_Care_Comparing_Children_and_Families_who_Combine_Care_Types_with_Those_Who_Use_Just_One