7 Keys to Stop Arguing with Your Partner

If you want to stop arguing with your partner, it's not something that happens overnight. Both must commit to working on it and relieve tension. Of course, good communication is one of the main keys.
7 Keys to Stop Arguing with Your Partner

Last update: 19 February, 2019

If fighting is part of your daily life, your relationship can start to deteriorate if you don’t do anything about it. Therefore, in this article, we’ll give you some keys to stop arguing with your partner.

Tips to stop arguing with your partner

Being in a relationship usually isn’t easy. Coexistence can be hard, and sometimes there are days when you constantly fight and bickerYou might spend all day shouting or bringing something up to your partner that happened months ago.

1. Control your expectations

Perfect couples only exist in movies. Even so, they also had to go through their own ups and downs to be able to be an example for others.

Controlling expectations doesn’t mean settling, but rather being prepared. Discussions and arguments will eventually happen. Everything won’t always be easy and rosy.

2. Have a phrase to “end the fight”

When things get heated, it seems like there is something in the relationship that’s broken or damaged. A good idea to end the fight is to say a special phrase, a type of “time out.”

7 Keys to Stop Arguing with Your Partner

Look for a phrase or word that gives you a moment to breathe deeply or go for a walk.

3. Talk

Communication is one of the keys to stop arguing with your partner. This is because if you can express what you feel, you can more likely be able to prevent a fight.

Relationships are based on agreement and understanding. However, your partner isn’t a mind-reader, and won’t know what you think if you don’t tell him.

Therefore, it’s important to have good communication at all times. Take advantage of a weekend outing or a time to talk, even if it isn’t always pleasant. You’ll see that you fight less, or at least reach an agreement more quickly.

4. Learn

What can you get out of a fight? Many things! When you start talking, you get to know your partner’s point of view, and also your own. In addition, you can channel your thoughts or feelings on a particular issue.

Believe it or not, arguing also has a positive side. At least you’ll know how to not act next time to avoid screaming or hurtful words.

5. Constructive attitude

Taking a helpful attitude rather than a destructive one is a good technique to stop arguing with your partner. Nobody likes to be told that they’ve made a mistake. No one likes to feel humiliated or useless.

7 Keys to Stop Arguing with Your Partner

6. No screaming

Keeping calm seems impossible in the middle of an argument, but it’s important to work on it to avoid bad fights. Speaking softly will reduce tension, as well as silence

You shouldn’t be silent all the time, but you need to know when to say something and when you shouldn’t.

7. Make pacts

You’re both responsible for the direction the discussion takes. That’s why you can always make pacts to stop fighting for a few minutes. Give your partner space to speak and explain himself without interrupting.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Beck, A. T. (2009). Con el amor no basta: cómo superar malentendidos, resolver conflictos y enfrentarse a los problemas de pareja. Barcelona [etc]: Paidós, 2003 Barcelona [etc.]: Paidós, 2003.
  • Morfa, J. D. (2003). Prevención de los conflictos de pareja. Desclée de Brouwer.
  • Vargas, J., & Ibáñez, J. (2007). Solucionando los problemas de pareja y familia: fundamentos teóricos y alternativas de solución a los conflictos desde la perspectiva del vínculo. Editorial Pax México.
  • Willi, J. (1985). La pareja humana: relación y conflicto. Ediciones Morata.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.