Being a Mother Is Choosing To Be One: Maternal Instinct Is a Myth

December 26, 2017

Motherhood is considered to be an innate instinct that drives women to protect and care for their children. However, for some women, the maternal instinct is a myth.

Instinct or choice?

A mother naturally knows how to care for and protect her children. These words summarize the concept of what is known as the maternal instinct. However, every day we observe hundreds of acts that take away from this sublime belief, turning it into a myth. We start to believe that “being a mom is choosing to be one.”

Culturally, most women are educated to find a partner, get married and procreate. Nowadays, however, we can observe an important group of women who have taken their destinies into their own hands. For many different reasons they don’t have the motivation, disposition or time to fulfill this important “role of love.”

In order to be a mom, it is convenient to possess certain emotional maturity that allows you to undertake the demanding task of taking care and loving a newborn baby.

Depending on the significance that motherhood has to the new mother and her relationship with her own mother and partner, this experience can be either pleasurable or a great source of conflict and sacrifice.

Experiences, emotions, education and social environment are also factors that can influence a woman’s decision on whether or not to become a mother.

Mother carrying daughter, maternal instinct

The decision to have children is one that a mother has to make on her own. In order to make this decision it is important to be aware of what motherhood implies. This awareness is fundamental for the baby’s future

It is very important to have a clear plan of what we want in order to meet our own expectations as women and mothers.

Some women prefer to first get their professional career on track in order to have a solid economic base before taking on motherhood. With financial security they can look for someone to help them with the vital task of taking care of their child while they continue to ascend in their career.

For other women being a mother is their main priority. They take on the task of taking care of and protecting their child naturally from the moment the newborn enters their lives.

The support of family members and her partner is very important. They will help provide the emotional tools and financial support in order to give the new child a great start.

Aspects to have in mind before becoming a mother

Being a mother is a unique and gratifying experience. The perfect moment in life to become a mother does not exist. However, it is good to have security and to consider a number of factors in order to make the decision responsibly:

  • Keep in mind the opinion of your partner. Make sure it is a good time in the relationship. Does your partner also want to bring a child into the world?
  • Even though the recommended age to give birth is understood as between 18 and 22, any woman that decides to be a mother can have the capacity and adequate resources to take care of her child.
  • Consulting a health specialist is one of the most important steps to take before becoming a mother.
  • Before considering to have a child it is important to keep away from all the toxic habits that can hurt the baby’s health. Habits such as: smoking, drinking, diets that are high in fat and sugar, etc.

Some advice

Here is some additional advice for making the decision to become a mother:

  • Think about how many children you want to have and in what time period.
  • You should consult your partner to see what they think. Find out if they are ready and have the adequate conditions to collaborate with taking care of the child, etc.
Parents talking about having a child

  • In the case of a single woman who decides to have a child, consider having a reserve fund beforehand. It will help in the case of any unexpected events.
  • If you believe that you are not competent to be a good mother but still want to have a baby, consult a professional that can help orient you on how best to handle your fears and doubts.

The most important step is to be conscious that it is a very important life decision. You must also have a willing heart and an open mind. This will make it possible for you to raise your children with love and dedication.