I Want to Be a Mom, but I'm Scared

It's completely normal to be afraid of pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood. Social pressure and social life can definitely influence future moms. What should you do when you want to be a mom but you're scared?
I Want to Be a Mom, but I'm Scared

Last update: 12 March, 2019

Being scared of becoming a mother is a much more common psychological phenomenon than you might think. Many women feel this way when they want to be a momAdditionally, they know that this decision will radically change their lives forever.

In addition to this type of fear is another complication: social pressure and the family environment. Why do women feel scared to become moms? Next, we’ll explore this topic to understand it better.

Why are women scared of being moms?

Many women want to be mothers, but they’re scared. It’s a very common phenomenon. However, we have some tips for you.

When women find out that they’re pregnant, they might feel extremely emotional, even if they were trying to get pregnant. In fact, some women feel very scared and nervous. Lots of women experience mixed feelings when they find out.

There are many reasons to be scared even if you want to be a mom. Generally, this is fear of the unknown and something that will completely change life as you know it. Also, many women don’t think they’ll be prepared and aren’t ready to take on that responsibility.

However, lots of women are also scared because they aren’t sure if they’re financially secure enough. In that case, you need to get your home and finances ready for your baby.

Do I want to be a mom?

The first thing that women going through this situation should ask themselves is whether or not they want that pregnancy. In fact, some women confuse fear of motherhood with not wanting it.

I Want to Be a Mom, but I'm Scared

Sometimes, women don’t dare think about that, and they think, “Of course I want a baby.” However, this could be due to social pressure that still has many sexist tendencies. Lots of communities still expect women to have kids, without taking into account what they genuinely want.

Additionally, many believe that all women are actually ready to be mothers, and that the maternal instinct will kick in when the baby arrives. However, this isn’t always true.

The first thing you should do is ask yourself if you really want to be a mother. Then, try and find out what makes you feel anxious and how you can overcome it.

Fear of medical complications

Many women are scared of motherhood due to possible medical complications linked to pregnancy and childbirth. Sometimes, women could be afraid of dying or of the baby dying. This is an irrational overestimation of danger.

In most countries, medical care during childbirth and pregnancy makes sure that there are as few complications as possible. This is something that makes a lot of future mothers feel more calm.

In fact, they can learn all about the sanitary conditions of their hospital. Generally, this makes them feel relieved.

What if I’m not ready?

This is one of the most common questions before making the decision to have children. Many women see motherhood as a job that requires many skills, and they’re afraid of not living up to the demands.

I Want to Be a Mom, but I'm Scared

Women are often afraid of not being able to take care of their baby and putting him or her in danger. Many people see motherhood as something totally unknown and new.

Also, they’re afraid that their daily lives will change completely. That can understandably make lots of women feel uncertain and scared.

The best way to deal with your fear is to talk with close and trusted friends that have children. You can ask them about their experiences and also spend time with children in your family to prepare before the time comes to have your own.

Find help

Most women who want to be a mom manage to overcome the fear on their own. However, every woman is different. Women have different degrees of fear, and it can vary from woman to woman.

If you’re so scared that you don’t think you can do it alone, we recommend seeking a professional who can work through this fear with you.


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This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.