My Children Have No Friends: What Should I do?

05 January, 2021
"My child has no friends." In this article, we'll talk about the possible causes, and we'll give you some tips to help your children make friends.

Human beings are social creatures. Because of our social nature, we communicate among each other. In fact, a well-functioning society requires good communication skills. To do this, we form relationships with members of a group. But, if our children have no friends, how do they form relationships?

When we realize our children have no friends, we feel very sorry for them. In fact, sometimes their feelings overwhelm us. So, what should you do if your children have no friends? What could be the reasons? How should you act? Should you respect their space? Or should you take them to the park to meet new friends?

All these questions come to our minds when we face these kind of situations. It’s very hard for parents to realize their children have no friends. When our children are rejected, it becomes so difficult for us that we don’t know what to do. For this reason, we’ll answer some of the previous questions.

“I have learned to be a friend to myself Great improvement this indeed Such a one can never be said to be alone for know that he who is a friend to himself is a friend to all mankind.”

– Séneca –

The role of family in social development

There’s no question about the importance of family in every child’s life. Family is especially important when it comes to the development of social skills, because children first socialize with their family members. The family system provides children with a psychosocial environment, where they’re exposed to different cultural elements and social rules, which they’ll need in order to become a part of society.

My Children Have No Friends: What Should I do?

The kind of relationship children have with their family members will determine their ability to socialize. Psychology studies reveal that family is an essential element in primary socialization. Several theories of socialization state that there’s a strong relationship between parent-child relationships and children’s development (Cortés and Cantón, 2000).

Family is the primary context where children acquire subjective qualities, which identify them as social beings, and make them belong to a certain social system. Socializing within the family system is a learning process in which children interact with their parents and learn attitudes, values, habits, needs, feeling, etc. All this knowledge will define the way in which they’ll adapt to society throughout their whole life (Valencia, 2012).

“The only way to have a friend is to be one.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson –

My children have no friends, what could be the cause?

The following are some of the possible causes:

  • Suffering from school bullying. Physical and psychological bullying don’t allow children to socialize. As time goes by, children become scared of forming relationships with their peers. In addition, they find it hard to develop certain social skills. They’re insecure because they were rejected. Thus, they’ll end up having toxic relationships in the future.
  • Being hostile and dominant. If children impose their strength to get what they want, their peers will probably try to get away from them.
  • Being a tattle-tale. If children can’t keep secrets and they’re constantly reporting what they know, no one will want to be their friend. If you can’t trust a person, you stay away from them.
  • Lacking social skills. Maybe, they are shy. Some children find it hard to relate to others, because they might be insecure or afraid of doing it. Lack of empathy is another factor that contributes to rejection.
  • Isolating. The excessive use of new technologies makes children become lonely people. Thus, the screen becomes their only friend.
My Children Have No Friends: What Should I do?

  • Suffering from a psychological disorder or illness. Finally, if our children suffer from a psychological disorder or illness, it may contribute to their lack of friends. Certain impairments make it difficult for them to communicate properly. 

“People who look for flawless friends, end up with no friends at all.”

– Proverb –

The pain of knowing my child has no friends, how can I help them?

To help your children make friends, you can teach them to:

  • Start a conversation and keep it going.
  • Catch social signals and respond to them accordingly.
  • Interact in a positive way with other people.
  • Listen to what other people are saying.
  • Look for children who share the same interests.

Finally, remember that if they have no friends, it doesn’t mean they have a personality problem. So, help them practice social skills. However, if they’re suffering, take them to a specialist to find a proper solution.

  • Cortés, R., & Cantón, J. (2000). Ambiente familiar y dificultades de adaptación de los hijos. Suma psicológica, 7 (2), Mar. 33 – 49.
  • Valencia, L. I. (2012). El contexto familiar: un factor determinante en el desarrollo social de los niños y las niñas. Poiésis12(23).