Your Teenage Children Need You

Even though your teenage children don't tell you they need you, the time you spend with them is very important for their development.
Your Teenage Children Need You
María José Roldán

Written and verified by the psychopedagogue María José Roldán.

Last update: 27 December, 2022

Many parents find raising their teenage children quite challenging. In addition, they think this period is all about negative emotions and feelings. This is because adolescence is full of different conflicts. However, your teenage children need you.

According to an article published in a magazine from the UC Berkeley Institute of Human Development, new discoveries in neuroscience state that parents need to reconsider including rewards and any other opportunities available to maintain a healthy relationship with their teenage children. This is because your teenage children need you during this stage more than ever.

Teenagers usually try to prove their parents and the rest of the world that they don’t need anything or anybody. Besides, they want to show people they’re successfully forming an identity. And, even though they haven’t reached their legal age yet, they feel like adults trapped in children’s bodies. Nevertheless, adolescents aren’t mature enough to become independent from their parents.

Your teenage children and their brain development

According to neuroscientists, who study brain development in teenagers, during this period it’s important to see neuroplasticity as an opportunity to create neural pathways to improve psychosocial development.

Your Teenage Children Need You

When there’s a good relationship between parents and their children, it’s more likely for children to develop a positive personality. They usually feel better with themselves and their emotions are more balanced. Furthermore, they’ll be able to form strong and meaningful relationships with their loved ones.

In addition, when teenagers have positive relationships with their parents, they’ll be less likely to suffer from emotional disorders, such as depression. Besides, they’ll probably avoid risky behaviors, like early sexual activity. Finally, they won’t try to hurt themselves or others.

Promote a healthy relationship

If you want your teenage children to have good brain development, don’t focus on the times they tell you they hate you when you set some limits. You should try to promote a healthy relationship with your children, following a positive discipline method.

This includes a warm and positive relationship. Moreover, parents should guide their children, showing them what to expect in the future. All this is very important, together with a set of rules and boundaries, which will be necessary for children to have healthy brain development and to develop new skills. 

Spend time with your teenage children

Spending time with your children will always be the best present for them. Therefore, you need to spend quality time with your teenage children. By doing this, you’ll be able to communicate with them constantly. And, this will allow you to be there for your children any time they need you. 

It’s also important to talk about what your children have in their minds, regarding their development, interests or other concerns. Your teenage children need you because you’re their guide, support and everything for them.

Your Teenage Children Need You

Even if your children tell you they don’t want to see you, they actually want you to be there in case they need you. They’ll always need an honest, free of prejudice hug. Remember that teenagers feel a wide variety of emotions.

As a parent, it will be your job to guide them through the different emotions they may experience. As a result, they’ll understand why they feel in different ways and they’ll know how to deal with intense feelings. 

Connect with your teenage children

It’s absolutely necessary for parents to do their best to connect with their teenage children. This way, they’ll be able to maintain positive and open conversations. To do this, it’s important to:

  • Reduce screen time (both parents and children) and talk more.
  • Have lunch and dinner together every day, in order to promote communication.
  • Get involved in your children’s everyday life.
  • Leave your home and plan activities together.
  • Enjoy quiet moments, and make them feel comfortable. Make them also feel that you understand each other.
  • Make plans inside your home.
  • Let them know you love them above all else.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.