Why Is Change Harder for Some Children?

Sometimes, children find it hard to accept changes. If you understand why, you'll be able to help them.
Why Is Change Harder for Some Children?

Last update: 20 November, 2020

Dealing with change isn’t always easy for adults, so imagine just how hard it can be for children. However, it’s true that when things change, people find a way to adapt to new circumstances. But, why is change harder for some children than others?

Even the most optimistic adults find change difficult. It’s stressing for anybody. And, learning to handle that stress and emotions that affect us is essential to cope with change and move on.

Nevertheless, change is part of our lives. Thus, we need to help children to adapt to that change with success. However, some children have a hard time. As parents, it’s important to understand why this happens. This way, it’ll be easier to help them better cope with change.

Why Is Change Harder for Some Children?

Children’s character

Children are born with their own character. It’s a genetic thing and it happens during prenatal development. And, parents realize this when they notice the personality that defines their newborn baby. Then, during the development of early childhood, their own experiences and their parents’ characters influence their personality.

In comparison to calm children, those who are more negative, fearful and slow tend to struggle more with change. So, parents can help this type of children, by focusing on the positive aspects of change and motivating them. They should also help children learn the difference between realistic thoughts and those driven by anxiety.

Attachment and trust issues during change

Some children, for many reasons, have trust and attachment issues. For these children, change can be quite traumatic. If you have children that may be dealing with this kind of challenge, it’s important to help them learn to cope with change.

Prepare them for what’s coming. Keep yourself connected to your children, motivating them to express their feelings. In addition, help them to remain positive towards change. As a result, if they know what’s coming and they express their feelings, they may overcome the situation more easily.

In many occasions, fear or anxiety don’t let us prepare for change. However, talking about it and picturing different scenarios may help your children overcome change. Even though results may be different, their mind will be prepared for what’s coming and they’ll feel more calm before new circumstances.

Behavior disorders during change

There are many behavior disorders that make change especially difficult for some children. For example, children with attention deficit disorder (ADD) need to create a structure. And, if something changes within their predetermined structure, they’ll probably have a hard time adapting to it.

The same happens in the case of children with oppositional defiant disorder, who may answer furiously. This may also occur in the case of highly sensitive children with anxiety disorder, who may get depressed or suffer from catastrophic thinking.

When we talk about children with a behavior disorder, we must take into account the type of approach we’ll use. Children need to know what to expect and why changes happen.

Why Is Change Harder for Some Children?

For example, if you move to a new home, your children will accept the change better if you explain why you’re doing it. Besides, children need time to adapt to the concept of change. Even though it’s not always possible, it might be a good idea to give a sensitive child time to think about what’s coming and to express their emotions.

Whenever a family experiences a change in their lives, it’s always a good idea to talk about it with their children. This will help them express their feelings, help them focus on realistic concerns and eliminate unrealistic fears.

In conclusion, children will adapt better to changes if they know what to expect. Help your children focus on what’s positive and make change as fun as possible for them. With your help and understanding why it’s hard for them, you’ll be able to guide them into an easier process for everyone.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.