Phrases From Rosa Jové For Happy Parenting
Rosa Jové is one of the most renowned child psychologists of recent times in Spain. Author of essential books such as Dormir sin lágrimas (Sleep Without Tears) or Ni rabietas ni conflictos (No tantrums, no conflicts), she advocates a happy, respectful, and understanding upbringing with the evolutionary stages of the child.
Her principles have served as a guide and support to many parents in the difficult task of raising happy and emotionally healthy children. Therefore, today we want to rescue some of the phrases that best summarize her philosophy. Surely they’ll provide you with the guidance and encouragement you need to continue the wonderful work you’re doing with your children.
Rosa Jové’s phrases for a happy upbringing
Rosa Jové: “Children believe their parents.”
If you’re a mother, you may not have realized the enormous influence you exert on your children. They believe in you with an unwavering faith; you’re their ultimate reference and, for the same reason, they accept your opinions and words without question. With this in mind, you must know that everything you say about your child becomes the most solid part of their personality.
If you tell your child that they’re brave, intelligent, good, and loving, they’ll be all those things. But, in the same way, when you repeat that they’re bad, selfish, lazy, or disobedient, you’re pushing him to become what you keep affirming. The labels and adjectives you use on your little ones shape their personality, so try to choose your language wisely.
Rosa Jové: “We can’t judge a child’s actions without knowing their reasons”.
For Rosa Jové, a happy upbringing is fundamentally based on empathy. It’s essential to be able to put ourselves in the child’s place, to sense what they feel, what they think, and what their opinions are, especially in those moments that are more difficult.
However, sometimes we forget this important step and automatically judge our little ones, drawing hasty and erroneous conclusions.
Thus, we may believe that our baby wakes up in the night to taunt us, that when they’re crying and calm down when we hold them in our arms that they’re manipulating us. Or that when a child has a tantrum they do it because they’re spoiled or because they want to defy us.
What if we stopped to think that our little one has no other way of explaining to us that they’re afraid at night? What if we realized that they only need our touch because it makes them feel safe? And what if we came to our senses and understood that our child’s tantrum is the natural manifestation of a frustration that they haven’t yet learned to handle?
If we try to understand our children before we judge them, we’ll discover that there’s no malice or blackmail in their actions. They’re just learning to live and they need us to guide them on their way.
Rosa Jové: “If you want your child to be independent, spoil them as much as you can.”
Sounds contradictory, doesn’t it? It seems that if we want to foster independence in our children we have to urge them to go out on their own. Love, protection, and pampering clash with our idea of the path to child independence. However, in order to acquire independence, security’s essential, and this can only be achieved through secure attachment.
In other words, a child needs to feel satisfied, loved, and protected by their parents in order to develop the confidence to explore the world. If they lack these basic elements, far from making them strong, we’ll only make him insecure. And this insecurity will prevent them from developing autonomously because they won’t trust themselves.
“Always make it clear to them that you love them and will always love them unconditionally”.
If you want your child to develop a strong and solid self-esteem that’ll allow them to get ahead even in adverse moments, they need to know that they can count on your unconditional love. We all make mistakes and learn from them, so it must be clear to your child that you’ll always be by their side, even when they make mistakes, even when you don’t like their behavior at a given moment.
Happy parenting is a lifestyle
In short, and beyond specific guidelines, happy parenting is based on respect, communication, and the ability to look through the child’s eyes. According to Rosa Jové, if your actions are motivated by love, your actions will always be correct.It might interest you...