Why Don't Japanese Children Have Tantrums?

Japanese children don't have tantrums because of the style of education and family life they lead in their culture. If you want to know more about this, be sure to read this article.
Why Don't Japanese Children Have Tantrums?

Written by Mara Amor López

Last update: 11 November, 2022

Have you ever heard that Japanese children don’t have tantrums? Well, that’s right, even if it’s hard to believe. In Japanese culture, it’s essential that the mother spends time with her children, and this is one of the reasons why the little ones don’t have tantrums. From childhood to adulthood, they’re calm, respectful, and affectionate people. But why?

Japanese people have great control over their emotions, even in complicated moments or tragedies. The great respect they have for others and their great capacity for teamwork are impressive. Even so, what’s really striking is how children behave so well at home and at school. How can this be? We’ll tell you about it in this article.

Reasons why Japanese children don’t have tantrums

Parenting in Japan is totally different from that in the West and, for this reason, Japanese children don’t have tantrums. But what are the reasons why they don’t? Let’s take a look.

Relationships between generations are based on respect

Children and teenagers are affectionate and empathetic toward the elderly. For their part, older adults are also very patient and affectionate with little ones and young people, as they’re aware that they’re in a learning stage. These relationships between the two generations provide the calm and respect that the child needs to be a better person.

A Japanese grandfather with his granddaughter and grandson on his lap.
For Japanese children, the elderly are wise and very respectable people thanks to the experience that their long life has brought them. At the same time, adults are also affectionate and respectful toward children.

Shouting and threats aren’t part of their parenting method

Japanese children don’t have tantrums because their parents base their education on affection  and spending time together. This way, children grow and develop in a calm environment that’s more conducive to learning.

Their way of indicating to children that they have done something wrong is by looking at them

Japanese parents educate children to relate to others in a sensitive and respectful way, so children don’t have tantrums. When a behavior isn’t appropriate, adults scold them through a look or gestures of displeasure. This way, children understand that their behavior is inappropriate and must be corrected.

If Japanese children break something, their parents don’t appeal to its material value, but to its function

If a child breaks something, their parents use the awareness method. For example, they resort to phrases such as “you hurt it” or “it got hurt,” among others. They try to emphasize the function of what they’ve broken and this makes them aware of it. In this way, children understand that their misbehavior can hurt and therefore can’t be repeated.

Family gatherings are based on communication and recounting experiences

This is another reason why Japanese children don’t have tantrums. At family gatherings, past stories are told that give children a sense of identity. Growing up in a calm environment, where everyone respects each other and where they feel loved and cared for keeps them from being explosive. One of the keys is that they’re able to control their emotions so they never use shouting as a form of communication.

Everyone fulfills their responsibilities

The responsibilities of each person are well-defined in Japanese families. Everyone knows what responsibilities they have and fulfills them. This allows the family to always be in social balance.

Japanese children don’t have tantrums: What they receive from their parents

A Japanese family smiling during a walk in the park.
Japanese parents always manage to share family time and give quality time to their children.

We’ve already mentioned above some of the reasons why Japanese children don’t have tantrums. In addition to all those, we can also say that Japanese families never lack the following:

  • Quality time between members: Parents look for moments between their responsibilities to spend quality time with their children. For them, this is a priority.
  • Good words and close bonding: They don’t understand how children can be yelled at or talked down to. For them, the most important things are affection, respect, and speaking to them with love.
  • Family companionship: Japanese culture values family companionship and learning to listen to what others have to say.
  • Love and respect for the elderly: Their elders are wise people who deserve all their respect and can teach many things.
  • Emotional control: They have great control over their emotions and do not allow themselves to have explosions. They always remain calm and temperate, even in complicated situations.

On why Japanese children don’t have tantrums

As you’ve seen throughout this article, Japanese children don’t have tantrums, and this is so thanks to the type of education and upbringing they have in their culture. There, education is based on respect for all people, love, and family. In this country, they don’t use shouting or threats to prevent bad behavior in their children. Just a look is enough for children to understand that they’ve done something wrong and correct it.

Westerners should take this type of education as an example to apply it to our own children. And above all, we should take into account the issue of spending quality time with the family. Although this may seem silly, it’s very important for the good emotional development of children. Why not put it into practice?

“The best legacy of a father or a mother for their children is a little of their time every day.”

-Leon Battista Alberti-

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