Why Is Motherhood So Different With Your Second Child?

January 17, 2018

Your first pregnancy is behind you and once again you find yourself in the same situation, except there is a big difference: this is not your first time. When you have a second child, motherhood will be totally different.

When we become a mother for the first time, we live in a world that is parallel to the reality of motherhood. We idealize everything and keep our child in a bubble.

We pretend to be a perfect mother, and fortunately the time comes when we finally plant our feet on the ground, after we get quite a few doses of reality.

This is when the second child comes in. The search for perfection is simply no longer important, and we realize how motherhood changes when we go from having one child to two.

Experience is the Foundation for Parenting Your Second Child

You have more experience. You have gone through the trial and error phase with your first child and you know what you want to do, and more importantly, what not to do because you have already learned from your mistakes.

Of course, this baby is a whole other person and what worked with your first child may not work with the second. Even so, you still have a headstart on this new journey.

Visits, personal and intimate space, basic necessities and the structuring of family values, are things that you will already have more or less clear.

You Become a Practical Mom

If you can, take advantage of all of the clothes that you have saved from your first child.  Your baby will be just as protected and well sheltered if they are wearing their sibling‘s clothes.

You don’t need to spend money on clothes you already have, and the money you save will come in handy now that you have two children and twice the expenses.

You are also an expert in managing your time and you are now able to watch two children at once while doing anything. You can bathe them together or feed them both in less time than it would have taken you to feed your first baby.

How Your Child Will Cope With Their Sibling’s Arrival

things to know about having a second child

The first child, who is accustomed to being the only one and receiving all of their parents’ affection and attention, can feel out of place when a sibling arrives. Suddenly they have to share their whole world.

A younger sibling causes jealousy in most children. That’s why it’s important to involve the older sibling in activities leading up to the arrival of the baby, before the delivery time comes, and to make them feel important.

It is important to value our children in front of family and visitors, to avoid negative comments and above all, comparisons. Never compare siblings, especially not in front of others.

Keep in mind that in terms of psychology, until the age of six, children are characteristically egocentric, meaning they feel like they are the center of the universe. This is why they constantly repeat “mine, mine, mine.”

A sibling forces them to share, even something as important to them as their parents’ attention. And we have to give them time to adapt to their new situation.

Fortunately, children tend to grow out of jealous feelings over time. This emotional state is common in childhood and in practically all families. Children go through a jealous phase whether it is short or long, and there is nothing to do except get through it.

siblings

Time passes much more quickly with your second child

It seems silly but it is not. Your second child will be much more aware of the world and learn faster. This is because they have a great teacher: your first child.

The developmental stages will happen much faster, because you are witnessing both children grow at once. And before you know it, you will already have one kid crawling or running down the hallways.

So now more than ever, enjoy  them both! Your little baby will soon be your oldest child’s best adventure partner.

Also, do not forget that one of the most wonderful things that you have been given for this second child is experience. This allows you to feel more relaxed, and to enjoy all of these moments to the fullest without focusing so much on worrying.