It Doesn't Matter if It's a Boy or Girl, All Babies Bring Happiness

It Doesn't Matter if It's a Boy or Girl, All Babies Bring Happiness
Valeria Sabater

Reviewed and approved by the psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Written by Valeria Sabater

Last update: 22 December, 2021

It doesn’t matter if it is a boy or girl. If its eyes are blue or brown. If its hair is wavy like mom’s or straight like dad’s. It is irrelevant if the child is a little stubborn like his mom, or if he gets easily distracted. It doesn’t matter because what this child is going to bring most to the world is… happiness.

In modern times of great scientific advances and dreams that can be reached by credit cards, there are plenty of couples that are making use of medicine to choose the sex of their baby. But scientists have clear thinking regarding this: it can only be allowed and performed if the aim is to avoid certain genetic diseases related to the sex of the baby.

“When a newborn baby squeezes his father’s finger with his little fist for the first time, he has him trapped forever” –  Gabriel García Márquez

Nevertheless, some couples do explore this option for “family balance” despite the fact that this reason is not very justifiable. They either want a boy or girl, because they already have two boys, or vice versa.

Whether or not we can understand why some parents wish to have a child of a certain sex, the most important thing that we should worry about is that our baby is born healthy.

Similarly, we should not forget that choosing the sex of our child not only requires large sums of money, but also involves invasive treatments and medications with many side effects.

Every couple, every woman, is free to choose which path to take in order to fulfil her dream of having a child. However, the essential thing is that, beyond the desire of having a child of a certain sex, love prevails for the child that is to come, no matter his sex, character, or personality

You are the most intimate gift I have ever received and I am going to offer you happiness

A desired child, a long-awaited child, or even a baby that was not expected but received with surprise, is, and will always be a welcomed gift. Beyond the gender of the child, what most mothers and fathers want is for their little one to come into this world healthy and strong so that he can enjoy this life that he was given to the fullest of his abilities.

Everything else is secondary. All their physical attributes, including gender, is something that we, as parents, shouldn’t care about. Fact is: due to our social progress and personal achievements, we are capable of seeing that the character of a child is not determined by sex, but rather, by education, culture, and all those social structures and norms that shape a child depending on whether he/she is a girl or a boy.

Boys can also be affectionate and sensitive, and girls can and should also be strong, brave, free…

Boy with cat

Boys show great affection from a very early age. It is crucial for us not to discourage this capacity to be sensitive, to show emotions, so as not to hinder the development of empathy, closeness, and social and emotional abilities

  • Let us not cut short these capabilities in boys just because society and gender norms dictate that boys should be strong, reserved, hide their tears, and always show pride…
  • On the other hand, let us not miss out on the opportunity to allow girls to reach for the stars. Let’s not focus on the importance of physical beauty, sweetness, and being “good girls.” Let’s let them have a voice. Let them be strong, assertive, sensitive, but also brave

Let us focus, then, on equality, no matter the gender.

Whether you are a boy or a girl, you will be welcomed and loved like you deserve

woman wondering if it is a boy or girl

Sometimes, during those first weeks of pregnancy, you put your hand on your tummy and you fantasize about your baby’s gender. You even start making a list of possible names and how you would decorate your child’s room.

You picture yourself buying certain clothes… but then, sometimes, you snap out of your daydream when someone comes up to you and says “hopefully it’s a girl, so she won’t be so boisterous” or “if it’s your first, better it be a boy.”

“There is only one beautiful child in the world… and every mother has one” – Josep Pla

You usually don’t pay attention to those kind of comments. You know very well that girls can be just as rebellious, and that, if the first one is a boy you will love him just as much as if it is a girl. Because you don’t care.

Your child’s gender is of no concern to you. You will love them no matter if they are a boy or girl. You will love your child infinitely no matter the color of their hair, of they look more like you or like their dad.

You will love your baby because it is yours, because it is a baby, because it needs you, and because it deserves it all; all the happiness that you could possibly give this baby… Everything else is secondary.


All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Bowlby, J. (1986). Vínculos afectivos: formación, desarrollo y pérdida. Madrid: Morata.
  • Bowlby, J. (1995). Teoría del apego. Lebovici, Weil-HalpernF.
  • Garrido-Rojas, L. (2006). Apego, emoción y regulación emocional. Implicaciones para la salud. Revista latinoamericana de psicología, 38(3), 493-507.
  • Marrone, M., Diamond, N., Juri, L., & Bleichmar, H. (2001). La teoría del apego: un enfoque actual. Madrid: Psimática.
  • Moneta, M. (2003). El Apego. Aspectos clínicos y psicobiológicos de la díada madre-hijo. Santiago: Cuatro Vientos.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.