A New Mother's Fears About Raising Her First Child
Learn about some of the main fears that many new moms share about raising their little ones.
Probably one of the greatest challenges that a woman faces in her entire life is giving birth and becoming a mother. This also means experiencing endless emotions and sensations. At the same time, a new mother’s fears are also infinite; she’ll have many questions about how or what should be the correct way to care for, educate and raise her first child.
Now, what if a new mother could think of her fears, not as paralyzing fears, but in terms of life challenges? This approach will probably make it easier for new mothers to cope with fears and most certainly overcome them.
Reading articles, books, watching tutorials, attending courses and seminars, and listening to advice from women who already have children is what future moms tend to do without stopping. Although it may sound contradictory, for many women, the more information you have about motherhood, the easier it is to become stressed, provoking more nerves and more fears.
Obviously, one of the greatest fears any mother faces with a newborn is related to her baby’s health, safety and survival. So when the baby has only lived a short time, a new mother’s fears are almost always related to acting correctly and giving her little one the proper basic care.
Ultimately, every mother will worry and have doubts about the feeding and hygiene of her baby and will have fears about how to react in situations that are typical of a newborn child. These include colics, constipation, and even choking.
It should be noted that we use the word fear because, according to many experts, fear is inherent to the condition of being parents. It’s precisely a type of fear that, if healthy, is linked to a sense of responsibility and involvement as parents.
In addition to all the doubts regarding a newborn baby’s physical well-being, there are other common fears that many new mothers share. These fears and concerns are largely related to how and what decisions to make to educate and raise their first child.
Concerns about raising a first child
- Finding the correct balance between permissiveness and limits – regarding the latter, how, when, and in what way to establish them.
- When and how to tackle complicated subjects such as sex, drugs and alcohol.
- At what age to let children access and use social media and how to educate them so that they use it safely and responsibly.
- How to control, share and participate in their social circles and close friends without them feeling ashamed or have their privacy invaded.
- How to teach them values such as solidarity, empathy and tolerance. Other important values include entrepreneurship, effort and desire to excel.
- What to do and how to act as parents, and how to teach children to act in uncomfortable situations such as bullying. This is whether they’re victims or bullies themselves.
- Fostering their dedication to studying and their need for autonomy and independence.
- How to be close to, but not on top of, the children and how to make them want to be near and not far from their parents.
- Getting children to be open and able to talk with adults about topics such as love, their fears, or any insecurities.
- What to do and how to handle parental commands. How to manage their expectation on how children should do what their parents request even when it doesn’t please them.
“Being a mother means discovering the fears that you didn’t know existed and feeling the strength that you didn’t know you had.”
When a new mother’s fears turn into challenges and lessons
Many mothers already with some experience will recognize that there are no recipes or guidebooks on how to be a good mother. You can only learn this on a day-to-day basis by making mistakes and getting it right eventually at every step of the way. The only thing that is worth pursuing when trying to be a good mother is to put all your love, dedication and patience into raising your child.
Comparing yourself to other mothers is simply not a good strategy, nor is taking strangers’ advice. The best thing to do is take what advice and intel we receive and adapt it to both our own and our child’s individual situation and personality. This will help mothers in creating a unique relationship with their child. We must never lose sight of the circumstances and the proper context in which each woman becomes a mother.
The ultimate secret lies in trusting oneself and having the conviction that the little person coming into the world is as unique as the maternal bond that you’ll form with them. This is how every mother will be able to turn her paralyzing fears into challenges based on deep reflection on how to raise a first child.