Single Mothers by Choice

4 minutes

Do you want to know more about women who decide to become single mothers by choice? In this article, we'll tell you what you should know.

Reviewed and approved by the psychologist Mara Amor López.

Written by Mara Amor López

Last update: 27 December, 2022

More and more women are deciding to become single mothers and break away from traditional parenting patterns. Gone are the negative labels attributed to women who raise children without a partner, as many now do so by choice. This new family model has become a social trend and is increasingly on the rise.

Over the years, women have realized that we can make the decision to be mothers even if we don’t have a partner with whom to procreate. There are equally valid strategies to have a child, such as adoption or assisted reproduction.

This topic is open to debate in many environments and it’s normal for hundreds of questions to arise. For this reason, and to provide quality information on the subject and its implications, we’ve prepared this article. You can’t miss it!

Single mothers by choice: An emerging phenomenon in today’s society

Women who decide to be single mothers by choice have the autonomy and the firm conviction that this is what they want. And therefore, they’ll fight to the bitter end to achieve that special dream.

Today, the world has given women greater freedom to decide about their motherhood, something that was unthinkable just a few decades ago. In fact, many women are independent, both emotionally and financially, and are able to cope with anything they set their minds to.

The meaning of single mothers by choice encompasses both women who decided to conceive alone and those who became mothers without wanting to do so in the first place but chose to face their condition on their own.

In general, women who decide to become single mothers are between 35 and 45 years old, and have attained a high academic level, a qualified job, and a strong desire to become mothers.

The decision to face motherhood in this way is largely related to the fact of being at a “limit” age for fertility, but without a partner and with a good economic disposition to face the project.

A woman in a robe with her hands on her pregnant belly. — The desire to be a mother can be much stronger than social pressures or stereotypes. And with the necessary conviction, many women face all obstacles in order to have a child.

Is the lack of the “paternal role” a problem?

Traditionally, certain functions of education and child-rearing have been associated with the male figure and the “paternal role”.

But nowadays, children are more familiar with the different types of families and see it as completely normal that there are different figures around them in charge of their care. These people are in charge of transmitting love, affection, attention, values, knowledge, and bonding with them. Regardless of whether they are men or women.

The “feminine-masculine” roles are changing and this doesn’t produce any kind of inconvenience for little ones. The important thing is no longer the label, but the functions that these people fulfill in their lives.

Do the children of single mothers have more problems when it comes to integrating into society? Apparently not. In fact, more and more infants are coming from various types of families (separated parents, two-parent families, same-sex parents, or single parents) and are fully integrated into their social environments.

Advantages and disadvantages of being single mothers by choice

Like everything in life, being a single parent has its advantages and disadvantages. What are they? Let’s take a look below.

Advantages

They feel closer to their children.
Their level of personal satisfaction and perception of happiness increases.
They have more freedom in their decisions and actions.
They manage to value and trust themselves more.
They feel proud of having achieved their greatest dream, without depending on anyone else.

Disadvantages

They face stressful situations and emotional problems while undergoing treatment to conceive.
In some cases, they may feel a lack of family support and fear of facing this decision.
Uncertainty about the timing of explaining to their child what their origins are.
Coping alone with anguish after failed fertility treatments.
Difficulties after childbirth to take care of all the responsibilities: Family, economic, work, or personal.
An increased tendency to physical and emotional overflow during the postpartum period.

A mother walking in the park hand-in-hand with her little boy. — Day-to-day difficulties can become a challenge. But if you have the proper support network, it’s possible to overcome any obstacle.

About single mothers by choice, we can say…

Now that you know more about these women who decide to be single mothers by choice, you can understand why they bravely face the path towards the realization of their greatest desire. The male-female family model is changing and this is why children find any type of family structure normal. In the end, what’s important is not the gender of the caregiver, but the role they play with their children.

“The most important things in the world are family and love.”
-John Wooden-