The 5 Worst Prejudices Against Only Daughters
When a couple, for one reason or another, has only one child, the situation tends to be very unique and different from raising several children at the same time. Not only can they devote more time, energy, and money to their little one but they also give them all their love. Because of this, there are prejudices that mothers of only daughters resent being told. For example, that they’re girls are “spoiled and selfish.”
People like to talk without really knowing the realities of the families they’re referring to. It’s for this reason that, when they meet parents who only have one child, they tend to say things that aren’t true and only respond to unfounded prejudices. Today, we’ll present you some of those value judgments that are often said lightly in the case of only daughters.
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5 prejudices that mothers of only daughters resent being told
Unsolicited comments from family, friends, and strangers are often very annoying when they’re based on personal ideas that are far from the reality of our children. For this reason, it’s no surprise that uncomfortable situations arise when mothers are told of the “harm” they’re causing their only daughters if they don’t give them more siblings.
The number of children a couple decides to have–or is able to have–is a private issue between the mother and father; since, at the end of the day, they’ll be the ones responsible for taking care of their physical and emotional well-being–not the people who only emit their opinions without considering the weight of their words. Prejudices aren’t only very unpleasant, but they also stereotype only children based on ideas that aren’t true. In addition, they can even condition their personality.
These are five prejudices that mothers of only daughters resent being told.
1. Only daughters are girls who don’t know how to share
One of the most classic clichés when it comes to judging the decision to have only one daughter is that these girls don’t have the natural ability to share. It’s a prejudice that’s based on the belief that, by not having siblings, they don’t know what it is to take turns with a toy or compete for their parents’ attention.
However, although it’s true that children with siblings must learn to share their belongings, the truth is that being generous is closely linked to the values and the example that’s set at home. So, to generalize and say that all only daughters are selfish is something that’s far from the reality of a responsible home.
2. Only daughters are shy, lonely little girls
Just because a couple consciously decides to have only one daughter doesn’t mean that she’ll be denied the chance to socialize with other little ones. Cousins, friends’ children, and their schoolmates are there to help them learn to be friendly and sociable.
It’s important to note that some children have a shy personality and there’s nothing wrong with that. Nor is it related to whether they have siblings or not. So, making these comments lightly only causes girls to feel bad about themselves for being the way they are and hurts their self-esteem more than you may think.
3. Mothers of only daughters resent being told that their daughters are insecure and dependent
When mothers and fathers employ positive parenting based on love, respect, and limits, little ones generally learn to be autonomous and have a secure attachment to their parents. Because of this, generalizing that all only daughters are insecure and dependent is a serious mistake based on misinformation. Confidence and self-esteem are cultivated at home, whether or not a child has siblings.
Continue reading: The Keys and Benefits of Positive Parenting
4. Only daughters are spoiled and don’t know how to socialize
One of the misconceptions about only daughters is that they’re extremely spoiled and narcissistic children, something that causes problems with socialization. This belief is based on the fact that they don’t have siblings to share their daily lives with.
Fortunately, this prejudice is far from being true, and science confirms it. A recent study entitled “The End of a Stereotype: Only Children Are Not More Narcissistic Than People With Siblings” showed that children who are only children show no differences in their level of extroversion, maturity, autonomy, and leadership skills compared to children who grow up with siblings.
5. They get bored too much and need company
It’s true that having siblings can be a great source of entertainment for most children. But that doesn’t mean that only children feel bored on a day-to-day basis. Besides, these little ones tend to have very active imaginations and creativity. So, assuming that children can only have fun by sharing with their siblings simply is a mistake.
Avoid reproducing these prejudices that mothers of only daughters hate being told
When parents make the decision to have only one son or daughter is something that their family, friends, and the people close to them should respect. Although most of these value judgments are said lightly and aren’t meant to offend, the truth is that they, on most occasions, produce discomfort.
So, try to avoid them and don’t use these prejudices when it’s not your place to judge. Remember that every family is different and you can’t generalize based on misconceptions from the past.It might interest you...
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
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- Dufner, M., Back, M. D., Oehme, F. F., & Schmukle, S. C. (2020). The End of a Stereotype: Only Children Are Not More Narcissistic Than People With Siblings. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 11(3), 416–424. Recuperado de: https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550619870785
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