6 Keys for Dealing with Teenagers

Adolescence is a stage that's full of changes. They begin to build their personalities and start to argue with their parents. Here are some keys for dealing with teenagers.
6 Keys for Dealing with Teenagers

Last update: 12 July, 2021

We all agree on the fact that adolescence is a complicated stage that’s full of changes, decision-making, and discoveries on the part of the adolescent. It’s important for parents to have some educational and communicative keys for dealing with their teenagers in an effective way.

The period of adolescence can be seen as a change in the way of looking at the world; children stop seeing life through the eyes of a child and increasingly approach the way of looking at it as an adult. The complexity of this stage is also determined by the construction of the personalities of young people, in addition to the important changes that occur at the school level.

Therefore, it’s important that we know how to manage this stage as well as possible ways to make it more bearable, both for them and for us. We’ll give you some recommendations that can be used to deal with adolescents.

Essential educational and communicative keys for the teenage years

Many parents go for psychological consultations because their teenagers don’t respect the rules at home, have friendships that can end up hurting them, have problems at school, or are irritable and often have violent episodes.

If we ask the parents of a teenager how they’d describe this stage, they’d surely tell us that it’s a period of many arguments, confrontations, fights, bad manners, etc. This ends up turning coexistence into something unbearable for both parties.

A mother and her teenage son talking and smiling at one another.

So, what can parents of teenage children do? Are there any keys to facing these problems? In the following article, we’re going to see some keys to dealing with teenagers.

We mustn’t forget that none of these guidelines replaces the guidance that a psychology professional can give us. Therefore, if in spite of applying these ideas we’re still unable to control the situation, it’s best to seek the help of a professional.

Educational and communicative keys for dealing with adolescents

Although adolescence is a difficult stage, problems can be solved, especially if we’ve sown the right educational seeds.

We’re going to look at some educational and communicative keys that can be of great help to improving the relationship with our teenagers and so that your home does not become a battlefield.

Dealing with teenagers: really listening

If you want your children to express their feelings and thoughts with you, you need to encourage them to do so. It’s important that you listen to them without criticizing, judging, or humiliating.

On many occasions, adolescents don’t talk to their parents because they consider them a threat, as they’re often the ones who scold and punish them. Whenever a child seeks out their parents to talk to them, it’s because they need them; they need to be listened to and not judged. At that moment, you’ve got to listen and offer your help in whatever they need, as well as your support.

In any case, you must also keep in mind that you don’t have to be the person to solve their problems. Rather, you have to allow them to solve problems as part of their maturation process.

Allow them to be autonomous and to explore the world

As we’ve already said, adolescents are in a stage of change, personality development, search for their identity, friendships, etc. We have to understand that, during this period, their tastes and opinions will vary constantly. We have to let them try and decide what they like and what they don’t like.

Dealing with teenagers means letting them fail and make mistakes

Just as we’ve lived through complicated moments during our adolescence, we’ve had bad experiences, but also good ones, we must let them experiment and make their own mistakes. This is part of their maturity development; we can’t enclose them in a bubble to prevent them from suffering.

Therefore, we must let them think, reflect, act, and make mistakes, as this will help them learn. From their experiences, whether they’re good or bad, they’ll end up learning. And this will be of great help to them throughout their lives. We all learn through our failures, as these help us to improve our methods so that they don’t happen again.

In this process, we can be their support and guides, but we have to let them make mistakes and assume the consequences of those mistakes.

If we’ve made a mistake, we have to apologize and ask for forgiveness

We already know that our example is the best way to teach. Therefore, if we’ve made a mistake with our teens, we must apologize and ask for forgiveness. With this, we’re teaching them that when we don’t act appropriately, we have to apologize.

We can’t expect our children to apologize to us if they’ve made a mistake if we don’t do it ourselves. Many parents are afraid to apologize because they think it makes us look weak or undermines our authority. However, just the opposite is true: apologizing is an act of courage and maturity.

Dealing with teenagers: accept their decisions and let them make their own choices

A teenage girl talking to her mother.

As long as their decisions aren’t dangerous for them, we must let them make their own choices. This is an issue that’s sometimes very difficult for parents. We’re used to being the ones who decide for them, as we did when they were children.

The time’s come for them to grow up and make decisions, even if they seem silly choices to us. We can advise them, but never make impositions regarding what they should do or how they should do things.

Help them and allow them to be what they want to be

Sometimes, as parents, we want our children to be copies of us or do things that we ourselves weren’t able to do. This shouldn’t be the case; our mission as parents is to let them be who they want to be. We can offer them the tools they may need to grow, but let them choose their own paths, as we did ourselves at one time.

On the educational and communicative keys for dealing with teenagers

These educational and communicative keys that we’ve given for dealing with teenagers can be of great help for improving your relationship with your teenager. But it’s important that you don’t lose sight of the fundamentals: during childhood, rules and limits are established so that, once your children reach adolescence, relationships are based on trust and mutual respect.

We hope that these keys will help you to better enjoy your child’s adolescence. Although it’s not easy, you can achieve it; you just need to take a look at the way you educate your kids and, of course, correct whatever you think you might be doing wrong. There’s still time to solve your problems, it’s just a matter of having the right attitude.

All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

  • Estévez, E., López, E. E., & Ochoa, G. M. (2007). Relaciones entre padres e hijos adolescentes (Vol. 3). Nau Llibres.
  • Artiaga, J. F., Hernández, J. A., Carbó, M. J. C., & Cabré, P. F. (2005). Adolescentes: relaciones con los padres, drogas, sexualidad y culto al cuerpo (Vol. 5). Grao.
  • Rodríguez, N. C., Rodríguez, J., Ceballos, E., & Álvarez, M. (2013). ¿ Peleamos o negociamos? La argumentación de los padres y lasmadres con sus hijos e hijas adolescentes durante los conflictos familiares. European Journal of Investigation in Health, 3(3), 207-217.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.